Parenting Is Hard and Then You Die provides a biblical and comprehensive strategy for raising healthy kids in a world that is morally bankrupt, spiritually desolate, and increasingly dangerous. That strategy is clear and specific, rooted in the Bible, proved successful, and communicated in a fun, entertaining way.<br><br>Dr. David Clarke has written many books on family. This book stands out for all of the following:<ul><li>Extremely practical</li><li>Clarkes trademark humor</li><li>Gives good attention to the teen years</li><li>Strategies tested in his own home and by counseling clients</li></ul>
Parenting Is Hard and Then You Die
A Fun But Honest Look At Raising Kids Of All Ages Right
By David E. Clarke, William G. Clarke, Larry Weeden, Kathy DavisTyndale House Publishers
Copyright © 2019 David E. Clarke
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-58997-976-5Contents
Introduction: Gifts from God — or Instruments of Slow Torture?, ix,
PART ONE: FOUNDATION,
1. Your Supernatural Team Member, 3,
2. Your Human Team Members, 9,
3. Classic Mistakes Married Parents Make, 17,
4. More Classic Mistakes Married Parents Make, 23,
5. Make Your Spouse Number One!, 31,
6. How to Be Happily Married ... with Kids, 39,
7. Single Parenting: Tougher than Elephant Training, 47,
PART TWO: NEEDS,
8. It's All About the Relationship, 55,
9. "Please Love Me", 61,
10. "Please Respect Me", 69,
11. "Please Respect Me," Part Two, 77,
12. "Please Help Me Be Competent", 83,
13. "Please Help Me Grow in Christ", 91,
14. "Please Let Me Go", 99,
PART THREE: DISCIPLINE,
15. Discipline That Works, 113,
16. Consequences for Younger Kids, 121,
17. Consequences for Older Kids, 131,
18. More Consequences for Older Kids, 137,
19. Even More Consequences for Older Kids, 143,
20. Rewards Must Be Earned, 151,
PART FOUR: TEENS,
21. "Help Me with My Physical Changes", 163,
22. "Help Me with My Sexual Changes", 173,
23. "Help Me with My Emotional Changes", 179,
24. "Help Me with My Intellectual Changes", 187,
25. "Help Me with My Spiritual Changes", 195,
26. "Help Me with My Social Changes", 205,
27. Technology and Your Teen, 217,
PART FIVE: BLENDED FAMILIES,
28. Living in a Blender, 225,
29. Living in a Blender, Part Two, 237,
30. Living in a Blender, Part Three, 245,
31. You Lose, Crazy World!, 251,
Additional Resources, 253,
About the Authors, 255,
CHAPTER 1
YOUR SUPERNATURAL TEAM MEMBER
Do not ever sell a house. Do not buy a house. I'm serious. If you live in a pup tent next to a nuclear waste dump, stay there. It will be easier and better for your health than selling your house and buying a new one.
If you have ever sold a house and bought another one, you know what I'm talking about. "Living nightmare" doesn't even come close to describing the process.
My lovely blonde wife, Sandy, and I spent the last seven months selling our home of thirty-one years and purchasing another home. We're still in recovery.
Throwing out all the useless stuff we'd accumulated over three decades was exhausting. And a little embarrassing. Getting our house ready to sell was expensive. Keeping it cleaned and staged for showings was incredibly annoying. Searching and searching and searching for a new house was unbelievably frustrating. Packing up all the things we were taking was a brutal, never-ending job. I have decided to invest heavily in cardboard box manufacturers.
But the worst part of the miserable experience was dealing with the bank that finally ... finally ... finally decided to give us a mortgage loan.
I thought torture was illegal. It's not. Our wonderful bank forced us to reveal every penny we made and every penny we spent in our thirty-five-year marriage. Entire forests were cut down to provide the thousands of forms we signed. More forests were cut down to replace the signed forms that our bank misplaced. After inflicting the maximum amount of pain and suffering possible, our bank — two days before our closing — approved the loan.
As you can see, I could go on and on. I'll end with the two things I told Sandy as we drove away from our closing. First, I apologized for making fun of persons who need an emotional support animal. I get it now. I need at least three emotional support animals.
Second, and most important, I made it clear that I will die in our new home. Emergency responders or funeral home employees — I don't care which — will carry me out in a bag. Because ... I'm never selling this house.
I feel better after my real estate rant. It's good to get the feelings out. But the real point of my sad story is that you can't sell a house and buy another house on your own. It takes a team to get it all done. I had Sandy. I had our four adult kids. I had my parents. I had Bob and Pam Johns, our best friends. I had Liz Menendez, our wonderful Realtor. And I had God, who got us through every twist and turn of the experience.
It Takes a Team to Parent
Just as you shouldn't sell or buy a home on your own (while you can, it's not advisable), you can't be a successful parent on your own. Parenting is too hard. Too stressful. Too demanding. Too complicated. It's too much of everything to tackle without a team.
In this chapter and the next, I will introduce you to your winning Parenting Team. This team will give you the spiritual, emotional, and practical help you need to get the parenting job done right.
Without God, Forget About It
Your most important team member is God. There's no question about it. I can't even imagine attempting to raise children without God's help. Sandy and I barely made it through parenting four kids with His help.
To be a successful parent, you must have these qualities: Love. Respect.
Kindness. Compassion. Patience. Wisdom. Forgiveness. Insight. Intuition. Emotional strength. The ability to listen. Communication skills. Self-control. (A lot of self-control.) Understanding. Boundaries. Tolerance. Organization. Acceptance of rejection. Unselfishness. Generosity. The ability to speak the truth in love. Grace.
And this isn't a complete list!
Do you possess all these qualities? Of course not. I don't. Sandy doesn't. No one does.
Who does? God does. When you have a relationship with God, you have full access to Him and to all these qualities. God will give you these qualities and, by doing so, give you all you need to be the best parent possible.
You raising your kids in your own power won't work. It's simply impossible. God raising your kids through you will work.
To Know God, You Have to Know Jesus
Becoming a Christian is all about Jesus.
There is one God, and He is the God of the Bible. There is one way to establish a relationship with God, and that is through His Son, Jesus Christ.
Here is Jesus Christ, in His own words: "I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me" (John 14:6).
A Christian is someone who has a personal relationship with God through Jesus. God sent Jesus to die for your sins — all the things you've done wrong — to provide forgiveness, so that you can have a relationship with God. "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life" (John 3:16).
This is what you must believe to become a Christian: "That Christ died for our sins in accordance with the Scriptures, that he was buried, that he was raised on the third day in accordance with the Scriptures" (1 Corinthians 15:3-4).
When you believe these truths — Jesus died for your sins, He was buried, He rose from the dead — and ask Jesus to be your Savior, you become a Christian. You have a personal relationship with God through His Son, Jesus. You are forgiven!
You now have the power to improve your personal life. You have the power to parent. And, best of all, you're going to heaven when you...
