Polyamory in the 21st Century: Love and Intimacy with Multiple Partners

"Deborah Anapol has produced a levelheaded, insightful examination of the growing polyamory movement and the people in it. She draws on her nearly thirty years at the heart of the movement, including her experience counseling thousands of poly and would-be-poly clients [and] examines how poly people and families deal with such issues as jealousy, time management, child rearing, and how closeted or out to be in a sometimes hostile world."Alan M., Polyamory in the News

"Polyamory in the Twenty-First Century reflects Anapol's extensive experience with the subject, both as someone who has been a leader in the movement and as a therapist who has helped thousands of clients. Her honest, warm, spirited voice comes through in this book, and the stories of real people are both fascinating and helpful to folks looking for concrete examples. Her chapter on jealousyùone of the thorniest issues in polyamoryùis one of the best things I've ever read on the subject."-Tristan Taormino, author of Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships

"Polyomory in the Twenty-First Century explores how polyamory has evolved in recent years. It underlines in the most personal and direct language that polyamory is, more than ever before, a viable and life-affirming way to live for present and future generations."-Graham Nicholls, artist, writer, and founder of polyamory.org.uk

"Polyomory in the Twenty-First Century is a thoughtful, wide-ranging, and well-balanced consideration of the current state of polyamory worldwide. Illustrating her points with vivid examples from real-life, Anapol succeeds in getting across the diversity of relationships and experiences covered under the umbrella of polyamory."-Dr. meg Barker, coeditor of Understanding Non-Monogamies

"Anapol masters the difficult task of covering a wide territory of historical polyamory and diving into it to the depth it deserves, [describing] lovestyles in many cultures, stories of various relationships, the difficulties they encounter, and how they learn and grow. And she always brings us back to the central point of our relationships: love."-Dossie Easton, marriage and family therapist, author of The Ethical Slut

"Deborah Anapol has written the book that only she could write, describing how the polyamory movement has evolved over recent decades and conveying her personal and professional observations as she has watched polyamory grow and change with each new culture and generation that embraces it. Anapol's journey is fascinating and engrossing."-David J. Ley, PhD, author of Insatiable Wives: Women Who Stray and The Men Who Love Them

"Deborah Anapol has long pioneered new archetypes of intimacy in our stringently pair-bonded world. This book invites us to leap beyond the notion that love and marriage go together like a horse and carriage, so that we can successfully update our personal longings and relationship templates: past, present, and future."-Gina Ogden, PhD, author of Women Who Love Sex, The Heart and Soul of Sex, and The Return of Desire

Polyamoryùhaving an intimate relationship with more than one person at a timeùis an often-misunderstood practice. Shrouded in mystery and invested with fears about deviancy, it's both an intriguing and anxiety-inducing topic.

As an experienced relationship coach and speaker specializing in polyamory, Deborah Anapol is an ideal guide to the subject. Polyamory in the Twenty-First Century weaves together research and facts to provide an informed and impartial analysis of polyamory as a lifestyle and as a movement, and to place it in a psychosocial as well as historical context. Anecdotes of personal experiences allow the reader to develop a better understanding of polyamory and the people who practice and enjoy it.

Anapol addresses the practical, the utopian, and the shadowy sides of this intriguing, mysterious, yet often threatening lifestyle. She honestly addresses difficult issues such as the nature of commitment without exclusivity, balancing personal needs with loyalty to a partner, evaluating beliefs about love and relationships, the impact of polyamory on children, and the challenges that arise when one partner wants monogamy and another prefers polyamory. Without judgment, she explores this increasingly common practice and reveals the true nature of a lifestyle that offers its own challenges and rewards.

Deborah Anapol received her PhD in clinical psychology from the University of Washington and is a relationship coach specializing in working with people exploring polyamory and conscious relating. She leads seminars internationally and is an entertaining and controversial speaker who has appeared on radio and television programs all across the United States and Canada.

Deborah Anapol is the author of Polyamory: The New Love without Limits and The Seven Natural Laws of Love. She has taught psychology and human sexuality at the University of Washington in Seattle and Antioch University in San Francisco. She leads seminars on love, sex, and intimacy around the country and the world.