CHAPTER 1
Who Am I?
"It's a helluva start, being able to recognize what makes you happy."
— Lucille Ball
Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.
— Dr. Seuss
Your journey, to discovering your passion and purpose, begins with you taking a long, hard look at yourself. Never easy, but it is necessary as one of your steps to that ultimate authentic life.
The first tool that we will use is The Johari Window. This tool was designed by American psychologists, Joseph Luft and Harrington Ingham. The technique is built around you understanding yourself in relation to the world around you. The "window" assists you in finding out how open you are to new experiences and how you can make changes that will eventually lead you to allowing yourself to be open to change and new options. It allows yourself to personally grow and reach that passion and purpose that you desire.
The Johari Window is comprised of four quadrants. These four quadrants are movable, perpendicular lines, which change as you develop an understanding of yourself, your willingness to share that new self with others and as you develop and grow. When you redo the Johari Window a few months later, you will find the entire structure would have changed. Sometimes it is a good idea to repeat this exercise over and over, during different stages of your life and journey. The results will surprise and excite you.
Have a look of the four quadrants here:
Aspects that you and others know about you
Aspects that only others know about you
Aspects that only you know about yourself
Aspects that no one, including yourself, know about you
Block 1 — Aspects That You and Others Know About You
This is where you will list the aspects of your life that you know very well about yourself and that others know as well. These could range from your favorite color, your particular style of clothing, your level of friendliness, your favorite food, your preferred genre of movie or book and also the way others see you. The list is endless, so you may find that you won't fit it all into that tiny block. I suggest that you use a separate piece of paper to list all of these aspects, as best as you can.
What do you know about yourself that others also know about you?
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Block 2 — Aspects That Only Others Know about You
This list would consist of aspects that others know about you, but which you may not be aware of. For this you will need to ask a trusted friend, group of friends and/or a few family members who can identify these areas. This may be a tough list to accept. Some people may be nice and tell you that you smile a lot. Others may not be so nice, telling you that you have a sharp temper. While you may be surprised by what you hear, try to not take offense, try to not hold it against the honest party. The truth is what you need and the truth, in those famous words, will set you free. The truth is there to help you learn about yourself and in the end grow. So, welcome these truths with open arms and embrace them for what they are, the real you.
What do others know about you that you don't know about yourself?
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Block 3 — Aspects That Only You Know About Yourself
This part of the exercise is where you will list all the aspects of yourself that only you know and are generally unwilling to share with others. As this is purely for your own use, you can keep this private. These could be deep, dark secrets that you have been nurturing for years, like that clandestine affair you had a few years back or when you stole something from the local grocer. They could be superficial something's, like that you pick your nose in private or don't wash your hands after using the toilet. Whatever they are, they will help you understand how you protect yourself and more importantly how protective you are of yourself.
What aspects about yourself do you hide from others?
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Block 4 — Aspects That No One, Including Yourself, Know About You
These are secrets that you withhold from yourself as well as from others. These are the secrets I wish you to reveal the most. They are, potentially, a gold mine field, and once we must dig deep to find. This area will produce the greatest gems of self-growth and self-discovery, taking you closer to your higher purpose. It may be hard to think of things that you are told but you don't know about yourself. It requires you to be super critical of yourself and open your mind up to all possibilities. To critically analyze your life is always tough and it means grappling with the aspects you do know about yourself and asking yourself the gut-wrenching question as to whether you do actually believe those aspects are the true you. Perhaps, once you delve deeper inside your psyche you will discover that those beliefs you had, that you thought were important, are, in fact, not. That if you look at the world in a different manner, that you will be that much closer to finding that authentic life you are meant to lead.
What aspects might you still have to discover about yourself?
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Now that you have listed all these aspects of yourself, what can we do with them?
Firstly, did anything surprise you that you've discovered while using the Johari Window? If yes, list all of them, right here!
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Which of the four quadrants of Johari Window, would you like to explore more...
