A Reflection of Me

Make the most of yourself, for that is all there is of you.

— Ralph Waldo Emerson

Ladies, marrying at eighteen years old and having my first child caused me to examine myself and reflect on who I saw in the mirror. With little experience of how to be a good wife and mother, I had to look deep within myself to evaluate who I was. As I tried to adjust to motherhood and marriage, I would frequently question myself:

• Can I accomplish my goals with the added responsibility of a baby?

• Do I have the self-confidence to complete college?

• Am I willing to make sacrifices to accomplish my goals?

• Do I have the ability to be a good wife to my husband?

These questions haunted me every day as I persevered to complete my college education. Numerous times I wanted to give up and throw in the towel, but I remembered what my grandparents, parents, and husband always told me: "If you want something bad enough, you'll work for it." These inspiring words of motivation kept my dreams alive and caused me to persevere each day, and it was worth all the sacrifice and struggle.

Every woman has a mirror that shows her reflection. The history of mirrors starts in the third century BC. From ancient times, special qualities had been given to mirrors that no other object in the world had. The Greek philosopher Socrates gave advice to young men to look at themselves in the mirror. He said those who were handsome should focus their lives on keeping their souls clean and staying away from the temptations that could take them on the wrong path (InvitingHome.com).

As you look at yourself daily, what do you see? Does your reflection reveal ...

• a woman who was sexually abused as a child?

• a woman with many insecurities about her appearance?

• a woman who has been emotionally scarred by men in relationships?

• a woman afraid to love her husband?

• a woman who views her mistakes as failures or windows of opportunities?

• a woman who is strong and intelligent?

• a woman who is determined to succeed despite challenging circumstances?

Whatever your reflection shows, it will shape how you think. The things that you think about yourself will determine your destiny in life. God says in Philippians 4:8, "And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise."

Once upon a time, there was a young lady who refused to look at herself in a mirror, even though every day her parents and sisters encouraged her to do so. She believed that if she looked at herself, she would see mistakes, failures, disappointments, and hurts. After much encouragement by her family, she finally agreed.

As she stepped in front of the mirror, nervous and fearful, she saw something beautiful! More than just a pretty face, she saw a person who was intelligent, smart, strong willed, honest, responsible, self-centered, insecure at times, lazy, a gossiper, compassionate, shy, a risk taker, trustworthy, and a procrastinator. She saw attributes she liked and disliked about herself.

An honest look at the real you makes you want to step back and say, "Whoa, is this really me? Am I really this type of person?" It might not all be pretty, but the areas that aren't pretty can be developed into something beautiful. Change takes time — it never happens overnight. A butterfly isn't beautiful until it goes through several stages of metamorphosis.

• Stage 1 is the egg development process. Butterfly eggs have a hard outer shell that protects the larvae inside. The shell inside is called the chorion. Inside, the egg is lined with wax that keeps the egg from drying out.

• Stage 2 is when larvae develop with three body parts: head, thorax, and abdomen. Larvae have a set of real legs and five false legs called prolegs.

• Stage 3 is the process when the larvae pupate. They split the exoskeleton and the larval skin comes off. When the skin is partially off, the cremaster appears. That's the spiny part at the end of the abdomen from which the baby butterfly hangs until it is strong enough to fly.

• Stage 4 is the adult stage in which the butterfly has six legs with three body parts: head, thorax, and abdomen. It develops a proboscis, which is a long, straw-like tongue used for sucking up nectar and water. The caterpillar has now developed into a beautiful butterfly that escapes from its cocoon to fly, fly, fly.

Just as you take journeys to develop and rebuild those areas of your life that aren't especially pretty, you can fly to success. Will your flight to success get tedious, bumpy, and rough? Yes, my friend, it will. The more success you desire, the tougher the flight will be, but nothing comes easy to those who want more success out of life. The price of success is hard work, diligence, patience, endurance, perseverance, dedication, commitment, and self-motivation. My friend, don't be afraid to pay the price. It's worth it!

Words of Reflection: Success comes in cans, not can'ts. — Author unknown

Do you value yourself? Webster's Ninth New Collegiate Dictionary defines value as a "rate or scale in usefulness, importance, or general worth." Every woman should value herself. Regardless of what people say about you, it is your responsibility to realize that you have a valuable and important purpose on this earth. Your value is not determined by acceptance from others, economic background, or financial status. Valuing yourself comes from your internal being. It happens because you have decided to see and appreciate your usefulness and importance to society. Learn to appreciate your uniqueness, talents, and abilities. Realize that no one else is just like you. Do you believe that you were created for greatness and designed for a special purpose? Accept the challenge to be your best!

Once upon a time, an old bag lady walked the streets of her city every day. She struggled to survive, never knowing where her next morsel of bread would come from. Every night, she would curl into a damp, chilly corner and wish she could find the strength to value herself. Through the years, she had allowed mistakes and failures to shatter her sense of self-worth. Troublesome marriages, alcohol problems, and a cocaine addiction had engulfed her. One day as she walked through a familiar neighborhood, she reminisced about being a child and the joy of riding bikes with friends, picking plums from the plum tree, and playing kickball in her best friend's backyard. As she passed a green house with white shutters, she saw an elderly, gray-haired woman sitting quietly on her porch.

When the elderly woman noticed the bag lady, she approached the fence and asked, "Are you my student...