The Princess and the Plumber in (Paperback)

The Mysterious Kingdom, for as long as anyone could remember, was ‘mysterious.’ It maintained a strict policy of isolationism. The last contact with the kingdom was during a Jousting Tournament between Jonathan the Merry, Parking-Lot’s flamboyant knight, and Malevolent, who was defeated in a very embarrassing manner.
Marvin the miscreant Magician, when he fled the Kingdom of Parking-Lot, took refuge in the mountains of the Mysterious Kingdom. Under the cover of darkness, he would venture out into the countryside, risking his life, to appropriate things he needed from unsuspecting neighbors nearby. Later, when he became bolder, he disguised himself and visited a nearby hamlet to obtain the things he lacked.
Marvin marveled at the citizens’ bleak, dreary expressions, their eyes seeming to yearn for the former times when they had hope and promise. Now almost forgotten, life was so...lifeless; an early death was regarded here as a blessing. Dressed in dark, drab, ragged attire, there was no laughter or merriment anywhere. The people clearly were slowly starving. Even if food had been abundant, few could afford it.
Marvin, with time on his hands, perfected the ability of invisibilisiness, provided he was completely undressed. It occurred to him that now that he had the ability to be unseen, he could safely pay a visit to the Mysterious Castle and pick up enough loot to make all his dreams come true. The magician had captured and tamed a gigantic winged beast to lift him and take him where he wished.
The Mysterious Fortress, located on Forbidden Mountain, was named because it was forbidden to climb it. An enormous Oriental temple-like structure came into view. It loomed ahead, foreboding, with angry, dark clouds surrounding it. Its very appearance was enough to make him wet his pants had he been wearing any. However, since he was on a mission, he had to be invisible and naked as a newborn.
Marvin wandered the passageways of the castle looking for anything of value. In his way were a group of maidens passing in the hall. He decided to follow. They entered tall double doors. He slipped quietly in behind them. Too late, he realized he was in a private chamber where a huge crystal pool occupied the center of the room. There he spied a woman, not old, not young, but extraordinarily beautiful, preparing to bathe.
Poor Marvin’s exit was blocked, so he was forced to stay and watch; enjoying it was optional. Darn the luck, he thought. If the truth be told, wild horses could not have dragged him away. The handmaidens slowly peel away the Empress’s covering until she was standing there in all her ‘glory.’
The magician found himself mesmerized by her charms. It had been so long since he had seen a woman—the way the good Lord created them—he’d forgotten the attraction. He was no fool; his eyes drank in her image as she was lowered into the pool. Her handmaidens performed their functions from washing to drying her hair. When they were done, she had them leave her temporarily so she could have a moment of peace. She reclined in the shallow end where her bosom floated just under the surface.
The randy man wanted to get a better look, as he figured it might be a long time before he had such an opportunity again. That is when his foot slipped, and he fell headfirst into the pool. Luckily, he knew how to swim, having taken lessons as a youth at the neighborhood YMCA.
The huge splash startled the woman, who quickly covered her goodies with her arms. Marvin climbed out and stood on his feet. The water on his skin formed a perfect outline of a man, and his muttered curses only confirmed his presence.
She cried out, “Are you here to do me harm?”
Cornered, he answered, “Fear not, it’s only me...Marvin.”
“I cannot see you, but only hear your voice. Are you a spirit or a ghost?”
Read how Marvin got out of the predicament, just to end up arrested in Parking-Lot facing prison or execution.