CHAPTER 1
"Quotes"
When life gets tough, and rest assured it will — I don't care what tax bracket you're in — there are four quotes that have always helped me through. We all go through periods of difficulty when we feel like life is out to get us no matter how hard we try. When I'm feeling sorry for myself and want to give up, I remember the quote that Jimmy Valvano (North Carolina State basketball coach) gave at the ESPY awards in March 1993 upon accepting the Arthur Ashe Courage Award when he knew he was dying of a rare cancer. He knew it would be the last time he saw most of the audience (many of whom were his friends). In one of the most riveting and inspirational speeches I can remember, he said,
"Don't give up. ... Don't ever give up!"
That is now the motto of the Jimmy V Foundation.
It's bottom line simplicity; nothing more needs to be said. If you throw it in, you're done. If you are lucky enough to wake up and draw a breath, then it's a good day and you have the right to choose how you live it!
"No matter how you feel, get up, dress up, show up, and never give up!"
— Unknown
Jimmy V spoke of having an enthusiasm for life and having a dream or a goal — this bit of optimism and wisdom from a dying man. If a dream were easy to achieve, it wouldn't be a dream. You just have to pick your dreams and focus on a direction.
"If you follow every dream, you might get lost."
— Neil Young, "The Painter"
Everything in life worth a damn is worth fighting for. Persistence and determination will pave the way to success.
"Sheer persistence is the difference between success and failure."
— Donald Trump
You simply have to believe in yourself and your dream, and you better be willing to fight for it!
"The future belongs to those who believe in their dreams."
— Eleanor Roosevelt
Nothing in life is free — nothing! I'm not saying that some days are not better than others, but "Don't give up, don't ever give up." I urge you to download the whole speech from the Internet. He says, "There are three things we all should do every day. We should do this every day of our lives. Number one is laugh. You should laugh every day. Number two is think. You should spend some time in thought. Number three is, you should have your emotions moved to tears, could be happiness or joy. But think about it. If you laugh, you think, and you cry, that's a full day. That's a heck of a day. You do that seven days a week, you're going to have something special."
He concludes his speech by saying, "Cancer can take away all my physical ability. It cannot touch my mind; it cannot touch my heart; and it cannot touch my soul. And those three things are going to carry on forever." Wow, I get a chill every time I read it. (Come on, admit it. You got a chill.) Seeing it live was powerful and inspirational.
"Don't count the days, make the days count."
— Muhammad Ali
Stuart Scott, the groundbreaking ESPN anchor who recently died of a rare cancer at the age of forty-nine, upon accepting the Jimmy V Perseverance Award at the ESPYs, penned an equally inspirational and moving speech six months before he passed away, echoing Jimmy V's words about not giving up.
In a powerful, heartfelt moment, he said, "Cancer is not about surviving, but how people live their lives. When you die, that does not mean you lose to cancer. You beat cancer by how you live and in the manner in which you live. So live. Live. Fight like hell. And when you get too tired to fight, then lay down and rest and let somebody else fight for you. That's also very, very important. I can't do this 'don't give up' thing all by myself."
His companion, Kristen Spodobalski, told him that "life consisted of two dates with a dash in between." Scott's moving closing words were these: "I hope my infant girls take this with them: make the dash count."
The other quote that I have turned to for inspiration is from my favorite poet/artist/storyteller, Bruce Springsteen. It's from the album Darkness on the Edge of Town in a song called "Badlands":
"Well, keep pushin' till it's understood and these badlands start treating us good."
It was actually the quote that we had on our high school soccer T-shirts, and it stuck with me. It's easier to make excuses or to give up or settle. Perseverance takes commitment! When you think you can't dig any deeper, keep digging. "Keep pushin' till it's understood and these badlands start treating you good." They will, eventually. Age and time teaches wisdom, and you learn that life is a marathon, not a sprint. Pace yourself; keep the highs in check, and manage the lows. Take a chance and take control of your life.
"You miss 100 percent of the shots you don't take."
— Wayne Gretzky, hockey player
Take a calculated risk. My son was recently at a Q & A with Billy Joel at college and had the guts to ask if they could play together. Billy said yes, and the video went viral (30 million views in all). Soon after, he appeared on the Today show, Good Day New York, CNN, Sirius radio, and The Jeff Probst Show.
"Great moments are born from great opportunity."
— Herb Brooks, 1980 USA Olympic hockey gold-medal coach
He was asked to write a song about his experience and perform it on national TV. It's about being alive and taking a risk. He had to write it in a week. It has since been featured on Sirius radio. Here is the chorus:
"You may be alive but are you living? I promise you the two are not the same. Never hesitate to take what's given. Cause chances are this chance won't come again."
— Michael Pollack, "Chances Are"
Do something that you have talked about forever — run that marathon, commit to getting in shape, finish your education, or save for that lifelong dream vacation and take it. Buy that Harley and just ride! Don't talk yourself out of it and decide to put the money in another safe mutual fund for the future. (For me, it's writing this book.) Forget the conventional "Bucket List", and put together a "F**k-it List", instead. Challenge yourself to do things that make you less comfortable. The future is now; the time is now.
"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away."
— George Carlin
You only live once, and believe me, you will be a better parent, partner, and person if you are a happy one. My new mantra is "SOLO": Steven Only Lives Once! That doesn't mean don't plan for the future or make prudent, responsible investments. Nothing I say is meant for drastic change. It's all about moderation!
The third quote came much later in life, with perspective.
"The road to happiness lies in two simple principles. Find what it is that interests you and that you can do well, and put your whole heart and soul into it, every bit of energy and ambition and natural ability that you have."
— John D. Rockefeller III
After working for years and actually doing something that I was good at and enjoyed at times, this became clearer. Life can be a grind.
"Your gift is the thing you do best with the least amount of effort."
— Steve Harvey, comedian and talk show...
