Reflections Of My Thoughts depicts a woman who is torn between her flesh, her spirit, and her underlying desire for freedom, strength, and the ability to dream again, represented by the unicorn, in whatever form it may be. However, her questions and desire for understanding who she believes she is with where she is in life ultimately lead her on a spiritual journey. It is an attempt to articulate the challenges that she faces with her flesh such as jealousy, lust, anger, true friendship, self-imagery, and faith. This is a story of a woman who learns that her ability to persevere through challenges, her real freedom, strength, ability to dream, and ultimately her identity comes not from her, rather, Jesus Christ who has sustained her even when she didn't realize or acknowledge He existed.

Reflections Of My Thoughts

I used to believe in unicorns ... and I still do.By Shaneen A. Harris

AuthorHouse

Copyright © 2011 Shaneen A. Harris
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4685-3119-0

Contents

Chapter One

Flesh

Romans 7:14, 15, 18, 19

We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. 15 I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do ... For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19 For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing.

I Used to Believe in Unicorns

I used to believe in unicorns Life full of mystery, magic, and dreams I once believed in unicorns Life was simple At least so it seemed I believed in a unicorn

Mighty, swift, majestic, taking flight I believed in a unicorn Peaceful, just right I once believed in unicorns Yes, even me I once believed in unicorns Before I was who you now see I used to believe in unicorns And all the strength, will, and beauty they possessed I used to believe in unicorns Yes, me Me who is now tainted by time Diminished I guess I, yes, even I believed in unicorns soaring high to the horizons across the sea I once believed in a unicorn That unicorn was me.

Self Analysis

I wouldn't say I'm perfect or that I even come close I probably mess up more than enough, more often than most I wouldn't say I'm completely honest Only, I truly try What I can say is my heart is truly good inside I never try to deceive or intentionally cause pain I would never just do that ... (Or would I?) I'm not good all the time Oh, but I try All I know is my heart is truly good inside.

Beauty

Beauty
Skin-deep or deep in the skin?
Is it in our soul or in our flesh?
Is it our attitude, our compassion, or our disgust?
Is it the sashay of our hips or the lusciousness of our thighs?
Is it the flowing of our hair or the glow of our cheeks?
Is it the curves of our bosom or the flex of our calves?
Or, is it the warmth of our heart,
the love in our eyes,
the dance in our laughter,
and the dew of our shared sorrow?
Is it the joy of our souls?
Is it the tickle of shared breath?
I know not if it be the former or the latter.
But, my desire is the latter.

    Confession

    How foolish of me to bare my sin
    To wear it on my chest as if a Scarlet Letter
    To share it with brethren in hopes of physical boundaries for a mental
    sin, mental boundaries for that which is physical
    Oh, to have kept it a secret would have been much simpler
    For then, I would not be subject to the whims of men
    Rather, to the mercy of God
    How naive?

    "Confess your sins one to another"
    Was this truly written by one who had experienced sin and knew the
    flaws of fellow man and still chose to subject himself to such tyranny?
    Me think not

    My mind has healed.

    My body tempted no more.

    My God has forgiven

    But, my sin lives on in men

    Shhhhh ... my love.
    Quiet.
    Bare your burden silently.
    Alone.
    Confess it not to human ears.

    Lest, you never will be truly free.


    Painted Destinations

    Standing in the painted heat
    Mind intoxicated with fatigue
    Sweat dances on my body
    Nothing, sulfur's intensity can relieve
    Horns of hurried lives
    Shouts of motivation
    Everyone standing still
    Yet, blindly running to his destination
    Standing intoxicated
    Dancing with sulfur
    Life's destination driven blindly by its motivation


    Call Me Human

    Are you black?
    Are you white?
    Are you stupid?
    Are you bright?
    Are you witty?
    Are you shy?
    Are you a girl?
    Are you a guy?
    Who are you?

    I am neither black nor white?
    I am neither stupid nor bright?
    I am neither witty nor shy?
    I am neither girl nor guy?
    I am human plain and simple.
    And, that is how I should be remembered.

    Don't call me black.
    Don't call me white.
    Don't call me stupid.
    Don't call me bright.
    Don't call me witty.
    Don't call me shy.
    Don't call me a girl.
    Don't call me a guy.

    Call me HUMAN!


        Jealousy

    A rage in my heart festering. rooted. deep
    It's a poisoning pain ... Jealousy
    It eats at my spirit
    Withers my flesh
    Destructive to my nature
    Kills all else
    Makes a mind anger
    Makes a heart ache
    Makes a body long
    Inner self ... it makes you hate
    Constantly in your eyes
    Forever in your soul
    Forever uneasy ... nothing can console
    A rage in my heart festering. rooted. deep
    It's a poisoning pain ... Jealousy
    Security ... lost
    Confidence ... shaken
    Trueness to self ... now forsaken
    Bitterness in my thoughts
    Salt in my mouth
    Dryness in my throat
    Waterless. Drought
    Forever the sin the soul must bare
    It rages my heart
    Festering. Rooted. Deep
    Hate those you love
    Love those you hate
    It's a poisoning pain
    Hate the one who is best
    Love all the rest ... Jealousy


    Simple...