Reflections Of My Thoughts depicts a woman who is torn between her flesh, her spirit, and her underlying desire for freedom, strength, and the ability to dream again, represented by the unicorn, in whatever form it may be. However, her questions and desire for understanding who she believes she is with where she is in life ultimately lead her on a spiritual journey. It is an attempt to articulate the challenges that she faces with her flesh such as jealousy, lust, anger, true friendship, self-imagery, and faith. This is a story of a woman who learns that her ability to persevere through challenges, her real freedom, strength, ability to dream, and ultimately her identity comes not from her, rather, Jesus Christ who has sustained her even when she didn't realize or acknowledge He existed.
Reflections Of My Thoughts
I used to believe in unicorns ... and I still do.By Shaneen A. HarrisAuthorHouse
Copyright © 2011 Shaneen A. Harris
All right reserved.ISBN: 978-1-4685-3119-0Contents
Chapter One
Flesh
Romans 7:14, 15, 18, 19
We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. 15 I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do ... For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19 For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing.
I Used to Believe in Unicorns
I used to believe in unicorns Life full of mystery, magic, and dreams I once believed in unicorns Life was simple At least so it seemed I believed in a unicorn
Mighty, swift, majestic, taking flight I believed in a unicorn Peaceful, just right I once believed in unicorns Yes, even me I once believed in unicorns Before I was who you now see I used to believe in unicorns And all the strength, will, and beauty they possessed I used to believe in unicorns Yes, me Me who is now tainted by time Diminished I guess I, yes, even I believed in unicorns soaring high to the horizons across the sea I once believed in a unicorn That unicorn was me.
Self Analysis
I wouldn't say I'm perfect or that I even come close I probably mess up more than enough, more often than most I wouldn't say I'm completely honest Only, I truly try What I can say is my heart is truly good inside I never try to deceive or intentionally cause pain I would never just do that ... (Or would I?) I'm not good all the time Oh, but I try All I know is my heart is truly good inside.
Beauty Beauty
Skin-deep or deep in the skin?
Is it in our soul or in our flesh?
Is it our attitude, our compassion, or our disgust?
Is it the sashay of our hips or the lusciousness of our thighs?
Is it the flowing of our hair or the glow of our cheeks?
Is it the curves of our bosom or the flex of our calves?
Or, is it the warmth of our heart,
the love in our eyes,
the dance in our laughter,
and the dew of our shared sorrow?
Is it the joy of our souls?
Is it the tickle of shared breath?
I know not if it be the former or the latter.
But, my desire is the latter.
Confession
How foolish of me to bare my sin
To wear it on my chest as if a Scarlet Letter
To share it with brethren in hopes of physical boundaries for a mental
sin, mental boundaries for that which is physical
Oh, to have kept it a secret would have been much simpler
For then, I would not be subject to the whims of men
Rather, to the mercy of God
How naive?
"Confess your sins one to another"
Was this truly written by one who had experienced sin and knew the
flaws of fellow man and still chose to subject himself to such tyranny?
Me think not
My mind has healed.
My body tempted no more.
My God has forgiven
But, my sin lives on in men
Shhhhh ... my love.
Quiet.
Bare your burden silently.
Alone.
Confess it not to human ears.
Lest, you never will be truly free.
Painted Destinations
Standing in the painted heat
Mind intoxicated with fatigue
Sweat dances on my body
Nothing, sulfur's intensity can relieve
Horns of hurried lives
Shouts of motivation
Everyone standing still
Yet, blindly running to his destination
Standing intoxicated
Dancing with sulfur
Life's destination driven blindly by its motivation
Call Me Human
Are you black?
Are you white?
Are you stupid?
Are you bright?
Are you witty?
Are you shy?
Are you a girl?
Are you a guy?
Who are you?
I am neither black nor white?
I am neither stupid nor bright?
I am neither witty nor shy?
I am neither girl nor guy?
I am human plain and simple.
And, that is how I should be remembered.
Don't call me black.
Don't call me white.
Don't call me stupid.
Don't call me bright.
Don't call me witty.
Don't call me shy.
Don't call me a girl.
Don't call me a guy.
Call me HUMAN!
Jealousy
A rage in my heart festering. rooted. deep
It's a poisoning pain ... Jealousy
It eats at my spirit
Withers my flesh
Destructive to my nature
Kills all else
Makes a mind anger
Makes a heart ache
Makes a body long
Inner self ... it makes you hate
Constantly in your eyes
Forever in your soul
Forever uneasy ... nothing can console
A rage in my heart festering. rooted. deep
It's a poisoning pain ... Jealousy
Security ... lost
Confidence ... shaken
Trueness to self ... now forsaken
Bitterness in my thoughts
Salt in my mouth
Dryness in my throat
Waterless. Drought
Forever the sin the soul must bare
It rages my heart
Festering. Rooted. Deep
Hate those you love
Love those you hate
It's a poisoning pain
Hate the one who is best
Love all the rest ... Jealousy
Simple...
