- Softcover
- Neu

Anbieter: PBShop.store US, Wood Dale, IL, USAPBShop.store US
Verkäufer:in bei AbeBooks seit 7. April 2005
Zustand: Neu
EUR 23,18
Anzahl: Mehr als 20 verfügbar
In den WarenkorbArtikelbeschreibung des Verkäufers
New Book. Shipped from UK. THIS BOOK IS PRINTED ON DEMAND. Established seller since 2000.
Bestandsnummer des Verkäufers L0-9781452048956
- Titel
- Relative Insanity
- Autor
- Shauna Glenn
- Verlag
- AuthorHouse
- Erscheinungsjahr
- 2010
- Zustand
- New
- Einband
- PAP
- Sprache
- Englisch
- ISBN-10
- 1452048959
- ISBN-13
- 9781452048956
- Artikelgewicht
- 345 Gramm
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Auszug. © Genehmigter Nachdruck. Alle Rechte vorbehalten.
Relative Insanity
By Shauna GlennAuthorHouse
Copyright © 2010 Shauna GlennAll right reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4520-4895-6
Chapter One
"Mommy, Mommy? You awake? Mommy, MOMMY!"I opened one eye. "What?" I said, waking from a dream where I was in the super market-topless, asking the produce guy to check out my melons.
"Well," said my second child, Lilly. She's our seven year old, blonde-haired, blue-eyed informant. If anything was going to go down in our house, you can rest assured that Lilly would be on it-CSI had nothing on this girl.
She continued, "Gracie went in the baby's room, woke her up and is feeding her bubble gum and Mountain Dew. And I know you don't allow us to have caffeine this early!" I told her that I was coming to tell you and she said, "Go on you little shrimp! Tell! See if I care!"
"Don't you think that's rude, Mommy?-calling me a shrimp? I can't help it if I'm short. I got that from you, right?"
She stood there, arms crossed, very officially, waiting for me to jump out of bed and pounce. All the while I was wondering if I lay still enough and didn't say anything, she would get bored and move on, I was even trying not to breathe. But she was standing there with her eyes so focused on the task at hand that I felt she had already won. Beaten down already, and what, only 6:08 on a Saturday morning. I pulled back the covers and eased my feet to the floor, my body willing me to stay in the bed-it's not time yet, it seemed to be screaming. As I got up, my husband (who conveniently sleeps through everything!) rolled over. I suddenly had the urge to punch him in the face. Instead I stuck my tongue out in his direction and followed the short informant down the hall toward the kitchen.
Why me? What did I ever do? I pay my taxes, I obey the law (except for the occasional speeding-okay maybe more than occasional, it's more like a part time job) and I vote like any good American. Why am I the constantly the target of these unprovoked Saturday morning attacks? Am I the only one on the planet who has to deal with this shit so early in the morning? And if I'm not, is there a support group I can join?
One thing I have considered doing is sedating the children. Not a lot. Just enough to have them snoring until a much more acceptable time on the weekends. I could market it to all the parents of young children around the world and become a billionaire. Oprah would have me on her show, claiming I had saved millions of families with my wonder drug for kids. We would have a catchy slogan and happy children singing the praises of my lullaby cocktail. There would t-shirts and bumper stickers and every mom in the world would have a permanent smile on her face. Women would have fewer wrinkles and gray hairs and even feel like having sex more often than on Arbor Day. I made a quick mental note to get to work immediately on my possible new venture.
As I continued to follow Lilly down the hall I realized that she was still giving me the 4-1-1 on exactly what had taken place in the few minutes that the three apples-of-my-bloodshot eyes had been up-and it sounded like a full day already.
"Uh-huh, okay I'm coming," I said. Stopping in the bathroom to pee was probably out of the question because if I don't seem somewhat concerned about operation "Mountain Dew," Lilly will continue to yap-yap-yap in my ear some more and if she doesn't stop, I fear I may lose my mind. She hurried off ahead of me warning Gracie, "Mommy's coming and you're in big trouble."
Big trouble. What does that mean anyway? Big trouble is robbing a bank or murdering someone, but to little kids-nine, seven, and nearly two, it means Mommy's going to put you in time out, or at the very worst, wash your mouth with soap for saying "shut up" or "stupid."
I entered the room of the scene of the crime.
"Mommy, I can explain." Ah. The future used car salesman of our family (we're so proud). Gracie, our oldest daughter, the actress, the princess, the "no one understands me" one of the bunch, began her morning ritualistic diatribe on how she has once again been the victim of wrongful accusation.
"You see, I thought I heard the baby crying, but when I went in there she heard me, I guess, and just woke up. So I couldn't just leave her there. I mean, what if she woke you and Daddy up? You really need your sleep, I know. You work really hard and I was just trying to handle it for you. I went to get her some milk, but we are out of milk so Mountain Dew was the next best choice. She really seems to like it. But that fartknocker, Lilly, had to go and wake you up and tell on me."
"I am not a fartknocker," Lilly cried out. "Mommy, did you hear what Gracie called me?"
"I heard, I heard. Now Gracie, please don't start the morning off by calling names. Tell Lilly you're sorry." I'm so beat down. And I felt a migraine coming on.
"Sorry," she said, not so convincingly, but good enough for me.
They were both looking at me, waiting to see what I was going to do. I didn't feel like doing anything, except screaming at the top of my lungs, packing a bag, and leaving on the next flight out of here. But, as the tallest one in the room, I guess it was up to me to handle this.
I looked at Lilly, standing there with her arms crossed with her eyes fixed on me like any minute I was going to spew biblical-like commandments, and Gracie, who had since become bored with this whole thing and was now staring at the television. So I said the only thing that came to mind. "Who wants breakfast?"
Lilly looked so disappointed that the hammer didn't come down on her big sister. She threw her hands up in the air and mumbled, "So not fair."
"I'm right there with you sister," I said off in her direction as I bent down and picked up the baby who was now tugging at my gown. Hannah is my twenty-month old and is the easiest and sweetest little girl. It's too bad she doesn't have a chance growing up here. I'm already putting some extra money aside for her therapy, which she will need a lot of. I held her close and whispered in her ear, "Get out of here while you still can." She just nuzzled my neck and giggled.
The big girls love their little sister. They are always willing to wake her up in the morning or from a nap, hold her for two seconds, then proceed to be utterly bored with her and hand her to me. Not before saying, "the baby wants you, Mommy."
So after serving breakfast and plopping the girls down in front of the television, I was finally able to have my much needed morning martini-I mean coffee. My husband, Tom, and I said we would never use the TV to baby sit the children. We do lots of things now we said we never would.
Before we had kids, we listened to our friends say the television was a lifesaver when they had things to do or wanted to get in some much needed rest or have sex for the first time in a month. We looked at each other like, we are so not going to be those people. I remember we actually laughed about it and I even felt sorry for them. Well, who's laughing now? I remember having a conversation with my mother before Tom and I had children and I told her my plan of having a perfectly run household and children who would be the most polite, cleanest and obedient of everyone we knew. The sound of her hysterical, almost psychotic laughing still echoes in my head. It's like a souvenir for my ignorance. Boy, for being college educated I was sure dumb.
You would think that by my third child I would have parenting down to a science. But every time I seem to get ahead,...
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PBShop.store US
Wood Dale, IL, USA
Verkäufer:in bei AbeBooks seit 7. April 2005
Versandkosten innerhalb von USA
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Shopbeschreibung
We first started out as “The Paperback Exchange,” a chain of physical bookstores where we would part exchange your beloved books for new stories to transport you to faraway places. However, as shopping started to evolve to online shops and marketplaces, we bid our stores goodbye to become “PBShop.” This transition has only allowed us to blossom as we now ship thousands of titles to book lovers across the globe. We pride ourselves in being a community of local book lovers which allows our passion and devotion to shine in everything we do. In 2020 we not only celebrated our 20th birthday but our 1st birthday as being completely employee owned after becoming an E.O.T in September 2019. We are proud to be different and embrace standing apart on a book mountain by working from a virtual inventory which allows us to provide thousands of books that may be difficult to get for your bookshelf or your studies. Working with a number of different suppliers allows us to explore other avenues such as puzzles, sheet music and even stationery so we really do have something for everyone. Life is about being versatile in all realms of existence. If this is your first visit or you are a returning customer, we would like to welcome you to the PBShop family, for there is no friend as loyal as a book. We are a company who put our customers at the centre of everything we do as we understand the importance of reading because once you learn to read, you will forever be free. There are a whole lot of things in this world of ours that we are yet to explore, which is why we will forever inspire curious minds.…
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Pbshop.co.uk Ltd
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We ask all customers to contact us for authorisation should they wish to return their order. Orders returned without authorisation may not be credited.
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Our Customer Care Team can be contacted via emailing paperback-us@paperbackshop.co.uk, or by calling our UK Office on +441285 712 917. We are available 9:00am till 5:30pm GMT weekdays and 9:00am till 1:00pm GMT on Saturdays.Returns Policy
We ask all customers to contact us for authorisation should they wish to return their order. Orders returned without authorisation may not be credited.
If you wish to return, please contact us within 14 days of receiving your order to obtain authorisation.
Returns requested beyond this time will not be authorised.
Our team will provide full instructions on how to return your order and once received our returns department will process your refund.
Please note the cost to return any unwanted order to us is borne by the buyer.
Should your order arrive damaged, not as advertised or faulty, we must be advised of this within 14 days of delivery. Please contact us so we can find the best solution for you.
Our Customer Care Team can be contacted via emailing paperback-us@paperbackshop.co.uk, or by calling our UK Office on +441285 712 917. We are available 9:00am till 5:30pm GMT weekdays and 9:00am till 1:00pm GMT on Saturdays.
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Gesetzliches Widerrufsrecht
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Das Widerrufsrecht gilt nicht für:
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Versandbedingungen
Books are shipped from our US or UK warehouses. Delivery estimates allow for delivery from either location.
Datenschutz und Sicherheit
PRIVACY POLICY
We are committed to protecting the privacy and security of personal data. This policy tells you how we will collect and use your personal data, and what you should expect in respect of the personal information about you that we have collected.
We are PBShop.co.uk Limited (registered in England & Wales with Company No: 9366362). Our registered office is at Swatton Barn, Badbury, Swindon, SN4 0EU, United Kingdom.
The person with responsibility for our data protection compliance is the Managing Director and they can be contacted via email at help@pbshop.store.
We are the data controller of the personal data that we keep and use, and we are therefore responsible for making sure that our systems, processes and people comply with the relevant data protection laws in respect of that personal data.
We will act in respect of personal data to comply with the six principles of the General Data Protection Regulation (“GDPR”), which are:
Lawfulness, fairness and transparency;
Purpose limitation;
Data minimisation;
Accuracy;
Storage limitation;
Integrity and confidentiality.
You have rights in respect of how your personal data can be processed; these include the right to request:
a copy of your personal data;
that inaccurate data is rectified; and
that your personal data is, in certain circumstances, erased or restricted.
You have the right to complain to the Information Commissioner, which you can do by contacting the Information Commissioner’s Office (ICO) directly. Full contact details, including a helpline number, can be found on the ICO website (www.ico.org.uk). This website also has useful information on your rights and our obligations. However, please raise any concerns or issues with us first so that we may deal with this as quickly as possible for you.
COLLECTION, USE AND DISCLOSURE OF PERSONAL DATA
We collect and process data for the following reasons:
personal data collected and created in relation to our selling books and other items; and
personal data relating to our people (which means those people working for our company, or providing services to us, or potentially working or providing services to us, including employees, consultants, temporary or casual workers and contractors).
All of our people are required to abide by our Privacy Policy when handling personal data, and are provided with appropriate data protection training. Any breach of data protection will be taken seriously, and may result in disciplinary action.
Selling books and other items
COLLECTION:
We will collect personal information which may include names, addresses and other information for our customers. This will be done for the management of the commercial relationship with our customers.
We may collect this personal data from you directly, and also from third parties, including publicly available third party sources. Additional personal data will be collected as it is created by or supplied to us in the course of anything we do for you.
USE:
We will use the personal data in the course of making sales and to comply with requirements that we are required to undertake.
We will only use your personal data when the law allows us to. Most commonly, we will use your personal data in the following circumstances:
in performance of a contract (the agreement to sell books and other items); and/or
compliance with a legal obligation; and/or
vital interests of the data subject; and/or
where it is necessary for our legitimate interests (or those of a third party) and your interests and fundamental rights do not override those interests.
We may also use your personal data in the following situations, which are likely to be far less common:
where we need to protect your interests (or someone else’s interests);
where it is needed in the public interest or for official purposes.
DISCLOSURE:
We may share personal data with third parties as is necessary in the sale of books and other items, including to third party providers who deliver services to support the operation of our company.
In respect of all disclosures of personal data, we will only share the personal information which is necessary for the particular purpose for which it is provided, or where we have another legitimate interest in doing so, and we will ensure that the personal data is appropriately protected.
RETENTION PERIOD:
We will keep personal data only for as long as is necessary to fulfil the purposes for which we collected it, including for the purposes of satisfying any legal, accounting or reporting requirements. Normally, our retention period for personal data collected for this purpose is a minimum of 6 years after the end of the period that we are selling books and other items.
Our people
COLLECTION:
We will collect names, addresses, contact details, education and employment history, identity and other background checks (which may include appropriate criminal and financial checks and confirmation of the right to work in the UK), marital status and information on next of kin and dependents, financial information (such as bank details and NI numbers), date of birth, gender, a copy of your passport and driving licence, performance information and compensation history, recruitment information (including references), salary, benefits, pension and annual leave information, disciplinary and grievance information, photographs, information about your use of our information and communications systems and CCTV footage or other information obtained through electronic means.
We may collect and use special categories of personal data as required in the carrying out of obligations and exercising specific rights of us or the data subject in the field of employment. This may include information relating to matters such as health, racial origin, religious belief and offences or alleged offences.
Personal data may be collected from you during the selection process (for example via your application form and CV) and during your employment (including holiday forms, expense claims, performance reviews, any disciplinary or grievance processes), or from third parties, including referees, health service providers, background check providers.
USE:
Personal data of our people will be used for HR administration and management, both in respect of the selection of people to work for us (including suitability, eligibility and/or fitness to work), and those who do work for us, to include learning and development, disciplinary and security (of people, offices and data) requirements, providing and liaising with benefits providers, business management and planning (including accounting and auditing), paying you and dealing with tax and NI deductions, assessing and deciding on salary reviews and compensation, conducting performance reviews and managing performance, dealing with legal disputes involving you or others, preventing fraud, monitoring your use of our information and communications systems, ensuring compliance with our policies, and equal opportunities monitoring.
We will only use your personal data when the law allows us to. Most commonly, we will use your personal data in the following circumstances:
In performance of a contract with you; and/or
compliance with a legal obligation; and/or
vital interests of the data subject; and/or
where it is necessary for our legitimate interests (or those of a third party) and your interests and fundamental rights do not override those interests.
We may also use your personal data in the following situations, which are likely to be less common:
where we need to protect your interests (or someone else’s interests);
where it is needed in the public interest or for official purposes.
In respect of all disclosures of personal data, we will only share the personal information which is necessary for the particular purpose for which it is provided, or where we have another legitimate interest in doing so, and we will ensure that the personal data is appropriately protected.
In respect of special categories of personal data, we may process this in the following circumstances:
in limited circumstances with your explicit written consent; and/or
where we need to carry out our legal obligations and in line with our policies; and/or
where it is needed in the public interest (such as for equal opportunities monitoring or in relation to our occupational pension scheme), and in line with our policies; and/or
where it is needed to assess your working capacity on health grounds, subject to appropriate confidentiality safeguards.
Less commonly, we may process this type of information where it is needed in relation to legal claims or where it is needed to protect your (or someone else’s) interests and you are not capable of giving your consent, or where you have already made the information public. We may also process such information about our people (or former people) in the course of our legitimate business activities with the appropriate safeguards.
The special categories of personal data may be used in the following ways:
in relation to leaves of absence, to comply with employment and other laws;
in relation to your physical or mental health, or disability status, to ensure your health and safety in the workplace and to assess your fitness to work, to monitor, manage and administer benefits and absences;
in relation to your race, national or ethnic origin, religious, philosophical or moral beliefs, or your sexual life or sexual orientation, to ensure meaningful equal opportunity monitoring and reporting.
DISCLOSURE:
Personal data may be transferred to service providers who support the operation of our business (such as payroll service providers), to other third parties reasonably necessary in the conduct of our business (including insurers, professional advisors, regulators). These third parties may be acting as processor, or controller of personal data in their own right.
In respect of all disclosures of personal data, we will only share the personal information which is necessary for the particular purpose for which it is provided, or where we have another legitimate interest in doing so, and we will ensure that the personal data is appropriately protected.
RETENTION PERIOD:
We will keep personal data only for as long as is necessary to fulfil the purposes for which we collected it, including for the purposes of satisfying any legal, accounting or reporting requirements. We will normally keep personal data of applicants who we do not employ for six months after we receive it.
We will keep personal data of employees throughout your employment and normally for a minimum of six years after your employment ends.
Changes to your personal data
It is very important that the personal information that we hold about you is accurate and current. Please tell us if your personal information changes during your relationship with us.
Data Security
We have put in place measures to prevent your personal data from being accidentally lost, used or accessed in an unauthorised way, altered or disclosed. In addition, we limit access to your personal data to those of our people and other third parties who have a business need to know. They will only process your personal data on our instructions and where they have agreed to treat the information confidentially and to keep it secure. We have put in place procedures to deal with any suspected data security breach and will notify you and the ICO of a suspected breach where we are legally required to do so.
Where we store your personal data
We principally store data, both electronically and on file, at our office.
Personal data may be transferred outside of the EEA by processors acting on our behalf. For transfers to countries not considered adequate by the EC, we will ensure that personal data is adequately protected, as required by the GDPR. This would include by use of the Standard Contractual Clauses adopted by the EC to protect personal data.
Your rights
Under certain circumstances, you have the right by law to request:
access to your personal data. This enables you to ask to receive a copy of the personal data that we hold about you and to check that we are lawfully processing it.
correction of the personal data that we hold about you.
erasure of your personal data.
object to processing of your personal data where we are relying on our legitimate interest and there is something about your particular situation which makes you want to object to processing on this ground. You also have the right to object where we are processing your personal information for direct marketing purposes.
restriction of processing of your personal data.
transfer of your personal data to another party.
Links from our website
Our website may, from time to time, contain links to and from the websites of third parties that we permit to make such links. If you follow a link to any of these websites, please note that these websites have their own privacy policies and that we do not accept any responsibility or liability for these policies. We recommend that you check these policies before you submit any personal data to these websites.
CHANGES TO THIS PRIVACY POLICY
Any changes we may make to our privacy policy in the future will be posted on our website, so please ensure that you are viewing the correct version.
Please contact us if you have any questions, comments or requests regarding this Privacy Policy.
Last amended May 2021.