KNOW WHO YOU ARE

"Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom." Aristotle

One of the most difficult tasks in life can be finding ourselves and what we want. The reason behind that is simple, there are many influences in life such as television, celebrities, friends, and family that usually shape us into who we are. We can't seem to find ourselves within ourselves and sometimes we do things for others. This creates a problem for all of us and the goals we set out for ourselves are not necessarily what we want, they do not work, or we just don't put the effort in them the way we should.

Finding myself was a lengthy journey, I was influenced by everything around me from actors on TV to friends and family every day in my life. Up until I turned twenty-five I was still confused as to who I really was. I was constantly trying to impress my friends and peers and worried about what everyone else thought of me. Currently I have been able to do what I want to do on my own terms. I have found out who I want to be and I don't particularly worry about what anyone else thinks as long as I'm happy and it doesn't hurt anyone else. This includes how I live, what I eat, what music I listen to, how I spend my money, and many other miscellaneous things.

I remember starting college. It was a time in my life right after earning my High School Diploma. The goal was simple "Graduate" little did I know the goal came from my peers and it was the wrong goal. I decided to go to school because everyone else thought it was a good idea for me. I didn't know what I wanted to do and I wasn't sure what to go to school for. I enrolled and started taking the basic courses and by the third semester I dropped out because I just wasn't feeling it and I did not know where I would end up if I continued going.

There was another time in my life when I decided to become a Realtor shortly after I stopped going to college. I received my Real Estate license and I was ready to sell some houses. This little idea to become a Realtor came from my mom. She thought it would be something I would like to do so I did it. I sold a few homes and saved up a few hundred dollars. I didn't enjoy being a realtor and decided to leave the business after only seven months of being a part of it. So, this idea didn't work out and being a realtor was not a good choice for me. As you can see the decision was not my own and I did it because it made my mom happy to see that I was trying to do something with my life. At the same time near the end of my Real Estate career I had approximately two thousand dollars and some credit left on my credit cards. I always wanted to live in California so I packed up and drove there. It was a roller-coaster ride but one thing is certain that I finally decided what I wanted to do with my life after living there for a few years.

Once I got to California I started working at a home improvement store, I climbed the ranks in less than one year and became a department manager. I worked hard and put in the overtime to be the best employee possible. Once I achieved this I realized my limited options and the time it would take to move up even more. After two years as a department manager I decided to go back to school and complete what I started. Remember I had some courses complete and now it was time to go back to school. I worked out a deal with my management team and it looked promising to go to school. Half way through the semester my management told me I had to have open availability and I could not get certain days off to continue going to school. I felt bad and I dropped my classes. I also made up my mind about what I really wanted to do in life so I set the goal of graduating from college. This goal was more complicated I wanted an engineering degree and because I love making things better I researched Industrial Engineering. This was my own goal and I was able to commit and dedicate the next 4 years of my life to it. I will explain in detail what made me choose this goal and why I pursued it with passion in the "Plan" section when I talk about learning.

I moved back home to live with my parents and enrolled in Purdue University Calumet. It was very affordable with in-state tuition. I started working a job with set hours at a tire distribution center where I loaded and unloaded around eighty thousand pounds of tires by hand five days a week to earn the money and pay for school. So, please let me explain how difficult this was, I had to load two to three semitrailers full of tires in an interlocking pattern up to the ceiling by hand in about eight hours. The job was the most physically exhausting work I have ever done. I also want to add the temperature in the Chicago land area, it wasn't great either, freezing cold in the winter or steaming hot in the summer. This is also inside of a dark and dirty fifty-three foot trailer. In a few words to sum it up, I hated this job. I worked hard so I could continue to work towards a very specific goal that came from within. This working situation was the most motivating for me at the time to continue towards my goal so I can get out of working there.

Simple Exercise

Take some time to think of recent goals you set out for yourself really think of who created those goals especially the ones you have not been able to achieve.

Write down your goals, where the idea came from, and if you failed or succeeded.

My Example:

Go to College came from peers the first time: Failed

Become a Realtor came from family: Failed

Go to College and receive an Industrial Engineering

Degree came from within: Successful

This was just a small sample of my goals. You can see the trend, if the goals are not your own you will be less likely to successfully complete them.

This exercise is here to help you understand why some of your goals in the past have not been successful. Hopefully you realized that some of the goals you have not met were from someone else and not your own beliefs. Now that you know the reason why you didn't succeed before you can be more confident at setting new goals. This exercise should help you with a confidence boost and motivate you to set new goals.

Influences

There are many influences in our lives. Everywhere we turn someone is telling you what to do and they all try to provide life advice. Many times you hear someone say something like ... well I been married 20 years and, "we are happy because we never went to bed angry and you should do this if you want to stay happy ..." and another person has another opinion of what makes a marriage work. Maybe you will find yourself talking to a mechanic and they are telling you things that they know. Usually they tell you that you should do what they did because that is the only way it works. As you can see many people have their own opinions and while it may be great advice it may not be the best advice for you.

If you want to be...