Twenty-one-year old Mayuri is afraid. For the second time, she has disgraced her husband and failed to give birth to a male heir. To make matters worse, this time she had twin girls. Her mother-in-law is outraged at her failure and takes action. Events escalate and Mayuri is forced to flee with her four year old daughter, Rajani who witnesses her mother's plight from her hiding place. When her husband catches up to her, a deadly confrontation takes place which compels Mayuri to lie and reinvent her past. She faces unexpected challenges and adapts to a new religion and culture. When all her lies unravel, Mayuri pays a heavy price. But eventually, mother and daughter have to deal with the truth and its consequences. "Rukhsana Hasib's beautifully written and passionate account of life in our world where so many cultures and religions are in conflict is like a brilliant ray of sunshine; it illuminates as it elevates. Above all, it is a reaffirmation of the beauty and courage of the human spirit." - Professor Akbar Ahmend Ibu Khaldun chair of Islamic studies, American University, Washington, DC

Shadows in the Sun

By Rukhsana Hasib

Abbott Press

Copyright © 2012 Rukhsana Hasib
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4582-0112-6

Chapter One

Kalidum village (India 1971)

* * *

It was early in the day yet.

Like all her other days, it began with her daily chores: washing, sweeping, peeling potatoes, chopping vegetables, grinding masala, boiling dal, cooking a big pot of rice, and pouring endless cups of tea, from an aluminum kettle, for her mother-in-law's enjoyment.

This day, however, turned out to be no ordinary day. It would bring with it unimaginable changes in the lives of many.

Mayuri sighed. She prepared a little extra food, just in case!

"Will it come today, Maiee?" Little Rajani ran around her mother in circles, kicking up dirt with her bare feet and noisily sucking on a lemon drop.

"How should I know? It will come when it will come," Mayuri snapped.

The child's face clouded instantly.

Mayuri regretted her harshness and softened her tone. "Come and help me put these clothes out to dry. And Rajani, maybe, it will come today."

Rajani perked up, burst into excited chatter, and ran to help.

Dragging her feet and occasionally caressing her stomach to soothe the uneasy feeling in the pit of her belly, Mayuri went back inside to tend to the dal she had left boiling on the wood-burning stove. She glanced longingly at the sleeping mat at opposite end of the kitchen which was her mother-in-law's sleeping area and hungered for the taste of a little rest, a few minutes of indulgence to ease her discomfort.

But what would Mother-in-Law say? Mayuri feared the old woman's anger. But her tired body urged her on. She would get up before her mother-in-law caught her resting.

She twisted her long black hair around and around with one hand, tied it in a bun at the nape of her neck, and sighed again. Her soulful dark eyes watered, and she squeezed her eyelids tightly together to stop the tears from rolling out of her eyes and down her cheeks. She sat on the dirt floor, leaned her head against the wall, closed her eyes and drifted off into an exhausted sleep.

"Do you have no sense, stupid girl? Look what you have done!" Mother-in-Law was shaking Mayuri. "The dal is boiling over. You think it doesn't cost money?"

Mayuri's long lashes flew open. She dragged herself up, adjusted her sari, and proceeded to contain the damage her few minutes of shuteye had caused.

"Just look at her?" Her mother-in-law sneered, speaking as if she was addressing an audience. "As if no one ever carried a child in her belly except this one?" She slapped her palms together and squashed a fly buzzing around the spilled food.

As the day progressed, the uneasiness in her belly turned into a slow burn, and then into a tortured churning inside of her. It was time.

"Go tell your grandmother to send for the midwife," Mayuri called out to Rajani. "I think the baby is coming." She waddled back into the shack, set a kettle of water on the stove to boil, spread out a straw mat, and lay down to wait while Rajani ran to tell her grandmother the exciting news.

Nimaii hurried to fetch the midwife while his mother put her palms together in prayer hoping Mayuri would give birth to her first grandson this time. She had waited patiently since her daughter-in-law gave birth to the girl, Rajani almost four years ago.

"I need a grandson," she declared, "someone to carry on Nimaii's name and earn money to feed us in our old age." She urged Mayuri to try harder to fulfill her wifely duties in order to conceive again.

This time, however, Mother-in-Law was taking no chances. Regardless of the outcome of all her prayers, she was determined not to add more girls to the family. She knew the midwife had an excellent reputation for discretion in these matters, should the need arise.

Not originally from these parts, the midwife had suddenly appeared in the village of Kalidum, some twenty years ago and made her home in an old abandoned shack at the outskirts of the village. She then went door to door and offered her services to expectant mothers. No one really knew her name or anything about her people but she was readily admitted to all the homes in the neighboring villages when word spread of her special skills. Midwife had a real knack for not only bringing babies into the world but also for handling low valued birth of female or handicapped babies, quietly and quickly.

She preferred to be known only as midwife and that is what everyone called her.

Midwife hurried back with Nimaii and as soon as she arrived, Mayuri's mother-in-law took her aside. They agreed on a plan of action should it become necessary.

"Don't worry; I will take care of everything." Midwife grabbed her satchel and hurried to the stream, promising to return quickly. There, she found what she needed. The oleander shrubs grew in clusters along the bed, swaying in the breeze, their showy, white and pink flowers, hiding in all their fragrant beauty, a deadly poison. She collected the oleander sap in her jar, carefully put a few drops of a clear liquid from a small bottle and returned with the toxic, milky mixture.

Mother-in-Law stuck her head out the door and mumbled through a wad of beetle nut and pan leaves, which she had stuffed in her cheek.

"I don't want another curse, a burden for life," she told her son. "Don't go anywhere, Nimaii," she muttered under her breath. "I may need you." She spat out beetle nut juice through her rotting teeth and went inside to wait.

"Worthless girls! Simply worthless!" Nimaii muttered as he lit a bidi and waited for a sign of good fortune. The birth of a son should prove his superior manhood to the entire village.

In his own way, Nimaii cared for his daughter, Rajani, but as a female, she was still a burden. He would have to spend years raising her till she was of marriageable age. Till then, she had to be provided for and her virtues closely guarded from the time she attained puberty so she could make a good marriage.

Then there was the trouble of finding a suitable groom and providing a dowry as well!

The Twins

* * *

Mayuri cried out as contractions ripped through her belly but still muttered her prayers, as she had done, every day since she became certain of her pregnancy. Her mother-in-law instructed her to visualize the phallus in a ritual of daily prayers and chanting. That, she believed would get the attention of the gods and they would favor her with a male child. It was time now to find out if the gods were listening. Mayuri groaned and clutched her belly. Rajani came running to her mother's side and held her hand, not knowing how to comfort her.

"Get away. Stay outside." Mother-in-Law took charge and pushed the child out of the door.

The agonizing efforts to push out the child left Mayuri weak and exhausted. Her body soaked in perspiration, she felt like a fish caught in a fisherman's net, struggling, and unable to escape. The midwife, assisting with the birthing, ordered her to lie still and concentrate on pushing as Mayuri rocked from side to side and moaned.

"Push, you stupid girl. And stop all that noise. You are not the only woman who had to do this," her mother-in-law hissed through missing front teeth.

Mayuri sunk her teeth into her lip in an attempt to silence her screams and tasted blood.

"Ma—Ma," she cried in vain, and then she called out to her little girl. "Rajani. Rajani." Just saying her daughter's name comforted her a little. Her little girl, the only solace in her life did not answer. No one else here had any...