Divorce is difficult under the best of circumstances. Dealing with this inherently adversarial process can be highly emotional on both sides. But when a divorcing individual is a "persuasive blamer"-someone who suffers from borderline personality disorder (BPD), narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), or simply has a high-conflict, manipulative personality-their behavior can have devastating ramifications for their former spouses. People with these disorders may adopt physical and verbal abuse as strategies, lie to lawyers and judges, manipulate the court, and may even level charges of abuse in order to get their way. Because persuasive blamers are so convincing and even charming, these techniques work surprisingly well and often result in unfair rulings.
Splitting is a legal and psychological guidebook that everyone seeking a divorce from a persuasive blamer should own. Written by Bill Eddy, a family lawyer, divorce mediator, and experienced social worker, and Randi Kreger, BPD expert and author of the bestselling Stop Walking on Eggshells, it offers readers help for navigating the entire process of divorce: hiring and managing a divorce lawyer, reaching a reasonable settlement, protecting oneself and one's children from emotional and/or physical abuse from the former spouse, resisting false accusations, and getting enforceable court orders. The book also delves into the difficult-to-understand, aggressive behavior of persuasive blamers, offering readers psychological explanations for their former spouse's actions and help for coping emotionally with the spouse's extreme mood swings and impulsivity.
Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. is the co-founder and Chief Innovation Officer of the High Conflict Institute in San Diego, California. He pioneered the High Conflict Personality Theory (HCP) and has become an expert on managing disputes involving people with high conflict personalities. He was the Senior Family Mediator at the National Conflict Resolution Center for 15 years, a Certified Family Law Specialist lawyer representing clients in family court for 15 years, and a licensed clinical social worker therapist with twelve years' experience.
He serves on the faculty of the Straus Institute for Dispute Resolution at the Pepperdine University School of Law inCalifornia and is a Conjoint Associate Professor with the University of Newcastle Law School in Australia. He has been a speaker and trainer in over 30 U.S. states and 10 countries.
He is the author or co-author of twenty books and has a popular blog on the Psychology Today website with over 4.0 million views.
Randi Kreger has brought the concerns of family members who have a loved one with BPD to an international forefront through her www.bpdcentral.com , and the Welcome to Oz online support community. Through Eggshells Press, she offers family members a wide variety of more specialized booklets and other materials. She was also instrumental in the formation of the Personality Disorders Awareness Network (PDAN), a not-for-profit organization. Kreger is author of
The Stop Walking on Eggshells Workbook and T
he Essential Family Member Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder. She speaks and gives workshops about BPD internationally.
