CHAPTER 1

The Storm

`A voice is heard in Ramah,mourning and great weeping,Rachel weeping for her childrenand refusing to be comforted,because her children are no more'.

Jeremiah 31:15 (NLT)

Thumping.... running, fast, faster and faster still. Eachfoot hit the cold coal-tar of Bourdillon Boulevard. Harder,faster, faster still, every muscle responding in sync withstrides of this sprint. The road was long and curvy. It wasa dark, chilly night. Cars sped past. Bright headlightsflashed, blinding her eyes, blurring her vision of everythingand yet nothing.

She was still running, gasping for breath but continuingto run, mustering all the strength in her already weak andtired frame. Fast ... not so fast ... slower ... slow ...Suddenly she let go. Her body came crashing to the groundlike a felled tree trunk.

There she lay, helplessly heaving with sobs by the roadside. A shrill scream from the pit of her belly rent the silentair of the night. It sounded like the wrenching howl of awounded hound. Nothing could stop the tears now. Theyflowed down like the waters of a broken dam; in no time,from nowhere.

People began to gather. Concerned and inquisitiveneighbours came around; faces twisted in wonder andbewilderment.

`Who is this insane girl?'

`Who or what could be chasing her at this hour?'

She just kept on wailing with all her might, and betweenher cries, they could hear her mutter.

`My mother, ... She's gone?' she asked herself, asthough in doubt of her words or, more likely, in denial ofthe shocking reality.

`No ... Help me, please'.

Onlookers murmured. Some were moved to tears,though uncertain of what had happened.

Her father's elderly driver had run after her, buthis bones were creaky and not as agile. She lay by theroadside, still moaning and lamenting. Pushing throughthe thronging crowd, he made his way to where she lay.Quickly, he knelt beside her; speaking words of comfortand gently pleading with her, `Let us go home. Please,come with me. Daddy awaits your return, and your sistersand brothers all need you. Please, my child, come with me.We must go now'.

Taking her by the hand, he raised her up while a kindlady wiped the tears off her face, and dusted her clothes.They both started off towards home. It was quite a tediouswalk because she was weak from crying and still veryconfused.

Searching for clues, she lifted her teary brown eyes tojet black skies. There were no stars that night. The moonstood still; dull and solitary. Dogs howled, owls hootedincessantly. Something mysterious had happened thatnight. Heaven and earth questioned, yet the only one whoknew the answers sat silently; looking on in His omniscientmajesty.

Her entire world was in a state of total chaos. She couldstill hear the reverberations of the very words that sent herracing down the road barefooted, like a mad woman.

`Your mother is dead!' Those four words had causedmore damage than the waves of a tsunami, crashingthrough the walls of her faith, emotions and psychologicaldefence. No straps could hold her mind now; she wasbeginning to lose it.

Suddenly, she jerked back. She remembered her youngersister was travelling with her mother, and they had beentogether in the car. Grabbing the old driver by the arm, sheasked him about her sister.

`Where is she? She's okay, right? Tell me she's all right;tell me where she is'. Slowly, as though in fear of herreaction, he hesitatingly let out the words,

`She's gone, too; both of them and their driver too.Nobody survived'. That was the last straw. What could beworse?

Gathering her skirt, she started to race, charging home.Bawling, hot tears cascading down her face, she dashed inthrough the brown iron-gate, across the garden, and intothe fluorescent-lit living room. The first people she sawwere her two brothers. Her immediate older brother hadpassed on in a similar way four years earlier.

The youngsters looked as though they had just seena ghost; too overwhelmed to shed tears. What could youreally expect from ten and twelve-year-olds? She fell to herknees and embraced them as tightly as her strength wouldallow, thinking perhaps she could feel and share theirunexpressed grief which had been dumped on them at suchtender ages. It was then that they began to cry. But it wasalmost as if they were doing so simply because she was. Ittook a while to comfort them. Eventually they lay snifflingon the sofa. After a while, the younger drifted off to sleep.

Her older sisters were upstairs. One was due to bemarried in a few days' time. How would she handle this?You could hear her bitter screams fill the entire compound.Step-by-step, she made her way up the wooden stairs,absolutely terrified. Seeing her father crying would literallytear her apart. The ascent was slow, but eventually, thereshe stood before the dreaded door behind which were hersisters and father.

She pulled herself together and hesitatingly turned thedoor knob, stepping into a silence so thick, you could cutthrough it with a knife. Nobody moved or said anything. Shestood transfixed in the doorway and stared into her father'seyes, frozen momentarily. Finally, her feet carried her tofather's side, where a fresh fountain of tears broke forth.

`Daddy! Oh, Dad!' Her father sat motionless andspeechless. He just kept staring into space. After about aminute or so, he turned to her. `What have I done to deservethis?' he asked, his eyes red as hot coals. Looking up asthough he could see God, he questioned, `And you sayyou're God. How could you just sit and watch this happen?I can't bear this pain. I just cannot go through it. You mightas well take me too. There's nothing more to live for'.

With his face buried in his chest and without any reserveor restraint, he broke down.

With her eyes fixed on him, she wondered what wouldhappen if her father left too. A fresh bout of pain hit hersoul. It was like being thrown off by an extremely highvoltage of electricity. The surge of this, coupled with allthat had happened tonight, threw her into a state of shock.In a single moment, something went out like a light bulb inher head. She had slowly begun losing her mind.

At first she started smiling. Then gradually went on tolittle chuckles. Soon, her insane laughter enveloped the room.It sounded ludicrous at first, laughing at such a time. Quickly,her father began to call her name. She didn't respond, so hebegan shaking her vigorously, trying to bring her to order.Her speech was gradually losing coherence.

A thin line, they say, lies between sanity and insanity. Itlooked like she was gradually crossing that borderline. Shecould hear a million voices screaming in her head. The onlything that triggered any reaction from her was the sharp andpainful jab of the doctor's needle. Soon the sedatives tookeffect, leaving her feeling drowsy as her father laid her on hisbed. A queer smile played upon her face, accompanied by acontradictory tear tumbling down her left cheek. Lights out!

Sleep.... sleep.... sleep ... It was the longest nightever. It was as though I would never wake up. A familiarvoice gradually led me out of sleep. It was Dad's. At first, Iwondered what I was doing sleeping on that particular bed;then I wondered why Dad was crying.

I shut my eyes again. `It's only a bad dream'. I triedconvincing myself, but ended up confused. Suddenlyflash-backs hit my mind. It all became clear as...