When a child dies—even an adult child— bereaved parents are left with a “stomachache that never ends.” No parent expects to make their child’s funeral arrangements. The death of a child is a loss only those who have lived through it can fully comprehend. A grieving parent wonders if the sun will ever show its face again. After Wayne Triplett lost his son, he set out to write the book he most needed—one that would offer solace, support, and inspiration. Telling his story and the stories of other bereaved parents—he discovered that grief never ends, but that if we open up to it, it can transform itself. We can with God’s help turn our heart-wrenching loss into something that will make a difference in the lives of others. One day we will pass through the storm of sorrow into new realms of sunlight and hope. • Find the road back to joy • Meet yourself in this book • Learn to live in the “new normal” • Affirm that life is still worth living • Find answers to the hard questions about death • Discover how God can truly heal a broken heart • Encounter real grief and real people dealing with it • Explore the journey through grief after the ultimate loss To find hope, to find faith, to find the way we can turn our sadness into service for others and into love in our own lives—these are the greatest challenges of loss. They are also the greatest opportunities. All proceeds from the sale of this book benefit the Kevin Wayne Triplett Memorial Scholarship Fund.
THE SUN WILL COME OUT TOMORROW
Beginning Again after the Death of a ChildBy Wayne TriplettiUniverse, Inc.
Copyright © 2010 Wayne Triplett
All right reserved.ISBN: 978-1-4502-5099-3 Contents
DEDICATION.............................................................................vIN MEMORIAM............................................................................xiOUR CHILDREN - WE REMEMBER THEM........................................................xvFOREWORD...............................................................................xviiPREFACE................................................................................xixACKNOWLEDGMENTS........................................................................xxiiiChapter 1 A DEATH MOST PRECIOUS........................................................1Miscarried Baby of Craig and Kim B. Church by Kim B. Church............................15Kimela Dee Roten by Dorothy Roten Beach................................................18Chapter 2 THE NATURE OF DEATH..........................................................21Gary Wayne Church by Debbie Church Walsh...............................................37Chapter 3 THE JOURNEY INTO GRIEF.......................................................47Faith Amber "Scoot" Brown by Linda Brown...............................................68Lindsay Faith Staton by Cindy Walls Staton.............................................84Chapter 4 MYTHS ABOUT GRIEF............................................................87Tyler Franklin Church by Sandra Church and Gail Johnson................................100Chapter 5 UNDERSTANDING THE EFFECTS OF GRIEF...........................................107Aaron Bradley Scott by Terri Scott.....................................................122Howard "Don" Donald Williams, Jr. by Kathy H. Williams.................................127Chapter 6 THE STAGES OF GRIEF..........................................................133Megan Elizabeth Goodman by Jennifer Cline Goodman......................................152Chapter 7 COLLECTING OUR SCATTERED SELVES..............................................159Shane Michael Christensen by Dan J. Mahowald and Ranae Christensen.....................173Chapter 8 FINDING OUR WAY..............................................................189Kimberly Rachel Miller by Cheryl Miller................................................200Chapter 9 MY FAITH LOOKS UP TO THEE....................................................215Ray Neal Pierce, Jr. by Elynn B. Pierce................................................262Chapter 10 A PLACE CALLED HEAVEN.......................................................265William Cameron Finley by Cam Finley...................................................285Chapter 11 GOD'S GIFT OF TEARS.........................................................291Sarah Jean Wilkes by Louise Church Wilkes..............................................307Chapter 12 THE NEW NORMAL..............................................................311James Kenneth "Ken" Willis, Jr. by Brenda P. Willis....................................328Chapter 13 REINVESTING IN LIFE.........................................................333Eddie Ray Roten by Dorothy Roten Beach.................................................346Christopher "Chris" Day Church by Ila Dean Hayes.......................................351Chapter 14 THE TIES THAT BIND..........................................................353Kevin Wayne Triplett by Wayne Triplett.................................................363AFTERWORD..............................................................................397ABOUT THE AUTHOR.......................................................................401RESOURCES..............................................................................403BIBLIOGRAPHY...........................................................................409
Chapter One
A DEATH MOST PRECIOUS
Who better to soften the wound of another, than one who has suffered the wound himself? -Thomas Jefferson
Kevin's seventh trip to the M. D. Anderson Cancer Center in Houston was to have been a "tune up" to get his lung infection under control with stronger antibiotics as well as repeat the usual scans and develop a treatment plan. Kevin was hospitalized on Tuesday evening, November 21, 2006 because of continued fever and general discomfort. I had been giving him nourishment through his G-tube as well as chemotherapy in our hotel room. He seemed to be responding well to the medications, but he had some puffiness around his eyes. This possibly was due to edema, although he had been taking a fluid pill.
The hospital staff prepared a Thanksgiving meal for those patients and their families who were there, and Kevin enjoyed the turkey and trimmings. On Saturday evening after Thanksgiving, he became restless for a while and required some morphine. This happened again on Sunday evening, November 26, and he required more meds. He laid back in bed, and I presumed he was resting, so I opened his laptop computer and composed two e-mail updates to my school staff at his bedside.
The evening wore on with his vital signs fluctuating and him becoming more lethargic. When the doctor on call came in I asked her, "Do you think he is going to be ok?" She replied, "We've seen this before. Sometimes they make it through the night." Immediately, I felt a shock course through my body. Was Kevin going to die tonight? He was just talking an hour earlier. I don't think Kevin heard her, and I never told him what she said. I just tried to make him comfortable. His mom and I took turns wiping his forehead, rubbing his arms, and holding his hands over the next six hours. "I just want to go home," he said to his mom.
"How are you feeling, honey?" I asked. "Are you ok?" He never spoke but nodded his head up and down. "Is anything hurting you?" I asked. This time he turned his head left and right signaling that he was in no pain. His morphine had been increased and his oxygen level on the machine was at its highest setting. There was a steady stream of nurses in and out, each respecting our privacy. "I (we) love you Kevin, and I'm here for you. I'm not going anywhere. I'll stay with you all night," I kept repeating. I continued holding and caressing his hands. I placed a small cassette player beside him and began playing a taped sermon by Pastor Craig Church which had been sent to us. I borrowed the doctor's stethoscope and listened to his heart beating. His breathing became more labored and the oxygen bag attached to his face filled and emptied sporadically.
He looked at me with eyes wide open as if he was staring past me, and I sensed his time was growing short. I noticed a slight grin on his face as his eyes blared one final time. It was 4:18 AM CST in Houston, TX, and Kevin had taken his last breath. I turned to his mother and said, "I think he's gone." I turned him from his side to his back. He looked so serene and was warm to the touch. For the first time in ages, he was in no pain. Kevin's seven-year battle against osteosarcoma had ended. No doubt, Jesus had just welcomed him home.
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Letting Go
I thought about so many things, as I held tightly to your hand. Oh, how I wished that you were strong and happy once again. But Jesus knew the answer, and I knew He loved you so. So...
