YEAR ONE: THE LEARNING CURVE

A GIFT OF TIME

A Gift of Time, was written so that our friends could know and understand the situation that our family was facing

We are so grateful for the emotional support from the church, the church members and our friends have given us ... For all the prayer lists that we are on along with all the other countless things that people have done to help us.

In this time of tearful tragedy, our hearts have been repeatedly uplifted by the goodness and kindness of people. It is so very IMPORANT for everyone to know about this illness. For this is no longer a disease that happens to other people.

These letters were written to give some facts that we were, not always strong enough to repeat over and over. That does not mean that we do not want to talk about these things. Only that sometimes we can and sometimes we cannot. One rule that we adopted very early on is that crying is O.K.

So here begins the story of Kari-Ann, David and Jordyn. Kari-Ann and Jordyn had always had an unusual amount of medical problems for such healthy looking young ladies.

In the late summer of 1989 I married my beautiful Kari-Ann, one might described her as the real Western woman, strong in spirit and frame ... The type of woman you would see walking beside the covered wagon.

In March of 1993 Kari-Ann began to have numbness in her right hand, fingers and in her mouth. The numbness quickly spread to her whole right arm. She was referred to a neurologist. Prior to that appointment blood test were taken. On June 15 Karri-Ann was forced to go to the doctors alone due to the fact that I had just started a new job that very day. On this day, Kari-Ann learned for the second time that she was HIV-positive. Not going with her to that appointment is one of the biggest regrets I truly hold onto to this day. In life making money is making life and you just have to do what you have to do when you're the breadwinner weather you like it or not. On hearing this news, tests were ordered for Jordyn and I.

Right after hearing this devastating news we were off to Colorado to attend my sister Johanna's wedding. Not telling Johanna or anyone else the bad news, thinking it would bring sorrow to the festivities. David shared this bad news only with his sister, Michelle. Kari-Ann was in tremendous pain from the spinal tap she received right before we left town. The exhaustion of the long automobile trip, and emotional bombshell was pretty overwhelming, but she handled it like a true champ attending the wedding ceremony, dancing a few slow songs and in general slowly but surely, taking part in all the events associated with a big family wedding. When we returned to Las Vegas, it was off to see the H.I.V/A.I.D.S. specialist to confirm that not only was Kari-Ann HIV positive, but that she was also in a state of full-blown A.I.D.S., with the T-cell count of 38. Mercifully, my test was negative. Our ongoing nightmare was that Jordyn's test was positive. Jordyn was given a life expectancy of 2 to 9 years. We expected nothing less than a miracle for Jordyn. We are all doing a lot of praying. We feel sure that you will join us.

The most shocking thing about Kari-Ann's being positive for A.I.D.S. was that blood tests were required in California before we were married. Why her condition was not found at the time made for a very large and open question that was never really answered.

Things happened so quickly, it's hard to remember how it all fit into such a short period of time. Immediately upon their return to Vegas, Jordyn was operated on for a gland infection. When she got out of the hospital, Kari-Ann traded places with her. Kari-Ann had contracted PCP, a type of pneumonia which is particular to AIDS patients. It is not contagious but never completely heals in AIDS patients. It is most often the cause of death in AIDS patients. Kari-Ann's condition deteriorated at an unbelievable rate. She also suffered from PML. PML is a disease that causes swelling around your brain stem. As the swelling increases it begins to cut off bodily functions one at a time. By August she could no longer dance, she could no longer walk or feed herself. She had also lost most of the power of speech. My Mom, Versiellen, had been planning to come in December too spend the year in Vegas to play with my granddaughter and give us a break. When Kari-Ann first got sick, we thought she had a minor stroke. ... So my Mom had already started moving the date closer.

On August 9, I phoned my Mom in Florida. I said "Mom when I took Karri Ann to the doctor's office today, she said to me, "I know I'm going to die. I know it's going to be very soon. I'm okay with that but don't let them put me in a hospital.... Please don't let them take me away".

Since my Mom's arrival on August 11, she and I have wadded through a lot of problems. We became a part of a wonderful organization known as Hospice. They help keep patients at home and in a state of dignity. Her life expectancy was changed to six months.

On October 26 I had the heart rendering task of explaining to my little daughter that mommy had gone to live in the sky.

Kari-Ann was able to have her last wish. We were able to care for her at home which was so important to her. She died at home in dignity and peace.

Jordyn is enjoying the best health she has ever had, that's due to proper medical treatment. She is taking the only available H.I.V. medicine called AZT. In September she had surgery to install a port-ta-cath. It is like a two way valve in the blood vessel. Through the port they can take blood and give IV treatment. Once a month she gets a gamma globulin treatment to boost her immune system. This process takes about five hours. Trust me, she is one brave little girl.

If you see her looking up at the sky with her little lips moving. Just know she is having a talk with her mom. And she is okay with that right now.

About my Mom and I.. .well I'm very...