Surviving & Thriving Solo is a light-hearted look at living alone. It is intended for men and women of all ages who live on their own, whether single, separated, divorced or widowed, and those who help them to survive and thrive, such as friends, relatives and acquaintances. The book offers a wealth of suggestions for coping with the challenges like loneliness and chores plus tips for enjoying the opportunities to pursue creative hobbies and build rewarding relationships. Also included is an annotated reading list for further exploration of issues related to living alone. The author shares many personal anecdotes. The text is easy and fun to read. The style is friendly and the tone is optimistic. There are checklists of choices-both realistic and whimsical, accompanied by humorous illustrations. Surviving & Thriving Solo is guaranteed to inform, inspire and entertain you. Oscar Wilde expresses the essence of living alone successfully with his line: "To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance." The book celebrates this romance as the author emphasizes accepting and caring for yourself and everything in your life. You will feel empowered as you discover that you always have options to create a rich and satisfying life in all situations.

SURVIVING & THRIVING SOLO

Options When You Live AloneBy Frances Frommer

AuthorHouse

Copyright © 2009 Frances Frommer
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4490-2595-3

Contents

PART 1 INTRODUCTION.....................................................1PART 2 ON BEING AT HOME ALONE...........................................41 Leaving Work..........................................................62 Doing Dinner for One..................................................93 Battling the Bulge....................................................144 Dealing with the Blues................................................175 Shaping Self-Help Skills..............................................226 Discovering Your Creativity...........................................267 Experiencing the Company of a Pet.....................................30PART 3 ON TACKLING THE CHORES & OTHER BASICS............................341 Handling Housework....................................................362 Shopping for One......................................................393 Paying...... Safely...................................................434 Standing in Line-Ups..................................................465 Getting to those Appointments.........................................506 Struggling with Superintendents.......................................547 Coping with Winter....................................................58PART 4 ON RELATING TO OTHER PEOPLE......................................621 Dining with Others....................................................642 Speaking Politically Correctly........................................683 Laughing Again after Your Divorce.....................................714 Facing the Future as a Widow or Widower...............................755 Can You Spare Some Time? Volunteer!...................................796 Growing Older With Style..............................................827 Finding Friendships...................................................87PART 5 ON FINDING COMFORT FROM MACHINES.................................911 Watching TV: Let Me Count the Ways....................................932 Enjoying the Comfort of a Car.........................................983 Daring to Use the Telephone...........................................1024 Confronting the Joys and Challenges of a Computer.....................106PART 6 ON SEARCHING FOR MR. OR MS. RIGHT................................1111 Finding Sex Plus......................................................1122 Eliminating Mr. or Ms. Wrong..........................................1163 Adding Technology to Your Quest.......................................1224 Seeking Safe Sex......................................................127PART 7 READING TREASURES................................................130

Chapter One

INTRODUCTION

My mother always told me that marriage was stepping from the frying pan into the fire. She intended this advice as a warning. To me, her words were a promise of a relationship full of romance, excitement and warmth. During my twenties, thirties and forties, I was driven by the dream of finding my perfect soul mate. I saw myself sitting in a garden in front of a beautiful house, surrounded by a husband, children, a dog and a cat and living happily ever after. However, my chosen partners were unable or unwilling to commit to marital bliss. When I turned fifty, I was still living alone. Nevertheless, over the years, I discovered how to survive AND thrive.

I stayed at home in the safety of my family with two parents, two younger brothers and two felines until I was 24 years old. Then, I moved into a duplex with three women for a year before I tackled my first apartment. It was like sliding around on a floor coated with baby oil as I took tiny steps to care for my home. Gradually, I put on rubber boots, got out my mop and cleaned the floor of my life. I tackled basic areas like work, relationships and interests, clearing negative thoughts and behaviors.

I have digested the statistics of the latest census. About one quarter of adults in both the United States and Canada live alone. I know that I am a member of the fastest growing type of household. I have made peace with the ups and downs. My journey was not all fun and games.

On the one hand, I have experienced great angst. This was most marked when I was without a man in my younger years. After every relationship ended, intense anxiety overwhelmed me. Evenings after work, weekends and vacations also created stress in my life. I had to find answers to many questions. Could I afford to take the day off work to contact the government by telephone? What would I tackle first when I had the flu, the cat was howling, the car was in the garage and my veterinarian's office was closed? What could I do when alone during a power blackout and the batteries of my flashlight were dead and I had no candles? Was it better to go to a dance or surf the Internet for my next date? What could I do when the saran wrap would not unwrap and I was out of tin foil?

On the other hand, I have known wondrous ecstasy while living alone. I felt powerful as I mastered basic chores. I filled my free time at home alone with creative activities such as painting and writing, meditation and self-love. I was blessed with a great career as a librarian and had access to zillions of self-help and humor books to lift my spirit. I linked with other people such as single, divorced and widowed women, in support groups and at other activities. I got a computer with Internet. If lonely at midnight, I was able to chat with friends around the world by e-mail. Adding the comfort of cats to my home created constant delight.

I began to focus upon how to add pleasure and fun to my life. Would I spend a whole weekend writing my book? Could I stay up all night watching Woody Allen movies in bed while eating pizza? Should I do my housework only every other month (except for cleaning the floors for the felines)?Would I paint my living room red or purple?

Surviving & Thriving Solo is a book that wrote me. After a series of losses, I found the light at the bottom of my shopping bag by writing about my options. I recorded my experiences and desperately searched for alternatives in my relationships, home and work areas. At first, I felt like a dot in a box-powerless and helpless. Gradually, I grabbed my angst by the feet, ankles and belly button. I learned how to transform black and gray states of mind into a dazzling rainbow of colors.

My life became bright and full of fun most of the time. My hours alone at home were treasures that I valued. New activities and relationships burst through the clouds. Ladies and gentlemen of all ages, I share my journey with you in order to inform, amuse, entertain and guide your journeys through the ups and downs of living alone.

This book is guaranteed to help you examine your choices as a person who lives alone. You may be single, divorced, widowed or separated. Surviving & Thriving Solo is intended to add lightness and brightness to your life by:

* Discussing experiences and concerns we share as people who live alone;

* Presenting you with a variety of options in basic life areas in the form of checklists;

* Entertaining you by expressing choices that range from the absurd to the practical, illustrated with cartoon drawings;

* Inspiring you to appreciate the opportunities and challenges that are available to you;

* Providing you with an annotated reading list of...