CHAPTER 1
DAY 1
Looking Ahead
Go in peace ... for the Lord is watching over your journey. Judges 18:6
As you embark on this day-by-day journey toward taking your life back, it might help to take a quick look at your desired destination. Though you will never achieve perfection in this world, you can reach a place where you are happier, healthier, and more attuned to God than you ever thought possible.
What will your life look like when you have taken it back? You will feel relatively safe and confident, not tossed to and fro by the whims of other people or by the extremes of your own emotions. Instead of blindly reacting to every little thing that might threaten your comfort or safety, you'll respond appropriately and effectively.
As you discover your real self and begin to live comfortably without pretense or façades, you will develop standards that you intend to keep and expect others to honor. You'll have a good sense of where you end and others begin, and you'll be capable of healthy attachments. You'll give other people grace for their imperfections, but not allow those imperfections to hurt or dominate you. You'll be free to be yourself, free to choose, free to heal, and free to be a healthy, loving adult.
ASK YOURSELF
» What are your feelings as you read through this description of the destination? Does it seem possible? Desirable? Why or why not?
» How far along are you on this journey? What choice can you make today to take you further?
ASK GOD
Heavenly Father, thank you for your gifts of wholeness and healing. I ask for your guidance, your protection, your provision, and most of all your presence as I travel toward becoming the person you created me to be.
DAY 2
A Tool for the Journey
So we can say with confidence, "The Lord is my helper, so I will have no fear. What can mere people do to me?" Remember your leaders who taught you the word of God. Think of all the good that has come from their lives, and follow the example of their faith. HEBREWS 13:6-7
When we're wounded — as we all inevitably are — we tend to react to what happens to us instead of responding in a healthy way.
Our reactiveness can take a variety of forms. Some people act out in rebellion and anger. Others act in by becoming envious, judgmental, or depressed. Either way, when we're living reactively, our lives become contingent on what others do and say. But God longs to set us free from our bondage to such dependency. He wants us to take our lives back — to recover from these unhealthy patterns.
The writer of Hebrews offers a valuable tool for our recovery in the form of a question: "What can mere people do to me?" In other words: "What others say and do can no longer affect me in any significant way. In fact, I'm fearless now because instead of reacting to other people, I trust in God to shape my responses."
When you feel yourself pulled into old patterns, try speaking this verse aloud. It can help you turn reactive living on its head.
ASK YOURSELF
» What (if any) reactive patterns do you recognize in yourself?
» How does turning to God as your Helper change that?
ASK GOD
Lord, with confidence I say that because you are my Helper, I do not fear. Thank you for the ways you are helping me break free from old patterns and find new life in you.
DAY 3
Would You Like to Get Well?
One of the men lying there had been sick for thirty-eight years. When Jesus saw him and knew he had been ill for a long time, he asked him, "Would you like to get well?" JOHN 5:5-6
It sounded like a no-brainer. Of course the sick man wanted to get well.
Or did he?
Jesus knew that being healed would change the man's life forever. Begging at the pool was all he knew. All his friends were there. If he was healed, he'd have to leave them and find a new way to support himself. He'd have to learn to care for himself instead of relying on others. In light of all these potential changes, no wonder Jesus asked the man if he really wanted to be healed.
Jesus asks us a similar question: Do we really want to take our lives back? Our relationships will shift, and some people in our lives will resist us. We'll have to develop new habits and find a better balance between caring for others and caring for ourselves. A lot will change, and change is almost always difficult, even when the outcome is good.
It's not an idle question: Do you want to get well? Be careful how you answer.
ASK YOURSELF
» Are you willing to do the work that will be required of you as you take your life back? What part do you think will be the hardest?
» Who in your life do you think will be the most resistant to your changing? How will you handle that person?
ASK GOD
Jesus, I do want to get well, but I know that changing isn't easy. Please give me the strength to meet resistance with grace and to persevere. Thank you.
DAY 4
Grow with Confidence
This is my command — be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9
After the death of Moses, Joshua was in charge. His task was huge. The Hebrew people he was leading were about to enter the Promised Land, and they would have to take the land from the current inhabitants. To lead them, Joshua needed all the courage — and encouragement — God could give him. But God told him clearly what to do. He was to obey all the instructions Moses had given him and not deviate from them. Only if he did that, God said, would he "prosper and succeed" (Joshua 1:8). In other words, God said to do the next right thing — and then to keep on doing the next right thing until he achieved success.
The same is true for those of us who are in the process of taking our lives back. We know what to do — heal our inner wounds, repair or replace our broken attachments, and confront our trauma. To do this, we need to be strong and courageous. But God's promise to us is the same as his promise to Joshua. He will be with us wherever we go in our quest for wholeness.
ASK YOURSELF
» Where in your recovery process does your fear tend to rise up and threaten to stop you?
» How can you live more fully in the promise that God will be with you wherever you go?
ASK GOD
Father God, I need to be strong and courageous, but I get stymied by my fear. Help me to face my fear and overcome the barriers to my recovery.
DAY 5
Surefooted Faith
Give your burdens to the Lord, and he will take care of you. He will not permit the godly to slip and fall. Psalm 55:22
Most of the psalms written by David were expressions of his troubles and affirmations of his faith. And David had enough troubles (and enough faith) to last many lifetimes.
Life was turbulent for David as a young man. He spent more than twenty years running for his life from King Saul and other enemies. He lived in caves and never knew whom he could trust. Later,...
