Tempted Women

A look at women who commit adultery describes the sexual highs and emotional lows these women face, what the women experience at each stage of the affair, and outlines twenty-five ways to predict if a woman will have an affair. 50,000 first printing.

In popular, journalistic style, Botwin tackles a current hot topic--the indiscretions of the married woman. The book relies heavily on her advice columns and is liberally sprinkled with lengthy quotations from women relating their experiences. Botwin postulates that women are likely to be much more emotionally involved in their extramarital affairs than men, and she describes the consequences of these entanglements. Without making value judgments, she considers circumstances where affairs can be a positive experience. She also provides guidelines for salvaging a marriage following the discovery of a liaison. Unfortunately, the book as a whole lacks depth, though her definitions of "true love" are right on target and very powerful. Still, there will probably be a large demand for this titillating topic.
- Carol Glatt, VA Medical Ctr., Philadelphia
Copyright 1993 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Botwin ( Is There Sex After Marriage? ) tackles a topic still taboo to many: female infidelity. Basing her observations primarily on 250 responses to a survey she conducted, she draws such conclusions as: 50% of married women have cheated; the male lover is usually married; women are more likely than men to end a marriage over an affair and less likely to end the affair; and affairs usually start as friendships. In this sample, the male partner is often the woman's boss. Using an entertaining collection of case histories, Botwin defines types of relationships (including the "everything but" affair in which there is no sex), examines the situations and psychological factors that prompt women to affairs and suggests factors that predict whether a woman will cheat. While Botwin is neither moralistic nor judgmental, her authority is seriously limited by the narrow constraints of her research and by such stereotypical generalizations as "obsessed by the relationship . . . women have their lovers constantly in their minds" and "wives in affairs are restless and distracted creatures." First serial to Redbook.
Copyright 1993 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Botwin (Men Who Can't Be Faithful, 1988, etc.) enters the dialogue on female infidelity previously dominated by Dalma Heyn (The Erotic Silence of the American Wife, 1992). On the basis of 250 letters she solicited as part of an office-affair survey, as well as on ``other case histories,'' Botwin claims that ``we are currently living in a world of tempted women''--one in which 40% of wives cheat (Botwin calls this a conservative estimate, despite the finding in a recent National Opinion Research Center survey that only 13% of marriages face infidelity). Moreover, unlike Heyn--who sees most female infidelity in an upbeat light--Botwin believes that unfaithful wives ricochet from bed to bed in a state of unhappiness and confusion: Her text is larded with quotes from letters by cheating wives who underscore the general theme of angst. According to Botwin, studies show that women have affairs for different reasons than men--among them, marital dissatisfaction and a desire for friendship rather than sex (women who work are particularly susceptible). What's more, women apparently feel much more guilt about extramarital relationships than men do. Still, Botwin identifies an emerging group of younger women who behave more like men in affairs--taking the part of the aggressor and feeling perfectly satisfied with an emotionless roll in the hay. But, in the end, Botwin seems to want most unfaithful wives to assess whether their affairs are the ``real thing'' and to contemplate what's gone wrong in their marriages. The author's concluding chapters focus on post-infidelity marital reconciliations--complete with an earnest affirmation that troubled husbands and wives are urged to repeat. Statistics on infidelity are often contradictory, and Botwin selects only those that prove her points. Moreover, her sampling group simply isn't broad enough to reveal much and her advice has a tinny, arbitrary ring. But someone had to contradict Heyn--it's only too bad that it wasn't a writer of greater depth and sagacity. (First serial to Redbook) -- Copyright ©1993, Kirkus Associates, LP. All rights reserved.