A 45 year old man stricken by a rare disease that has taken the very spirit, the drive out of most men however Steve Brown has seen life from 'both sides ." Memories of his past accomplishments and those of his handicapped father , brother, and sister, have lent a hand in the making of a determined spirit sought after by many. Equipped with his guitar, a notebook, and a tank of gas, and all the peace he can muster, Steve invites all who dare to venture a slice of the fortitude he enjoys and will gladly pass on to others. Steve's spirit, soul, and can do attitude is surely infectious and will enable any person to find peace in this topsy turvy world. Highly recommended you have a box of tissues handy.

Toast, Sweat, and Bumpah Stickahs

A disabled man's quest to find the cure alone, the life he has led and continues to lead By Steve Brown

AuthorHouse

Copyright © 2010 Steve Brown
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4490-9579-6

Contents

Lay It to Rest............................................................xiLive and learn............................................................xvChapter One Grammy's Tea..................................................1Chapter Two Jeff..........................................................5Chapter Three Come On Home................................................13Chapter Four Stick with it, Queergirl.....................................17Chapter Five Karma........................................................23Chapter Six And the courage...............................................29Chapter Seven Big Wheels and Hook.........................................35Chapter Eight Bring `Em Back..............................................41Chapter Nine The Difference...............................................45Chapter Ten Stop This Crazy Thing.........................................51Chapter Eleven Not so different...........................................55Chapter Twelve Edges......................................................59Chapter Thirteen Counter Space and Strong Women...........................61Chapter Fourteen That's okay but thank you for asking.....................65Chapter Fifteen Disabled or Not-Just Push.................................69Chapter Sixteen Toast Sweat...............................................73Chapter Seventeen The Answer..............................................75Chapter Eighteen Just tell me ... or don't................................79References................................................................83

Chapter One

Grammy's Tea

My favorite lunch of all time has got to be peanut butter and jelly sandwiches with Ramen Instant Noodles. This is not some sort of endorsement, my palm isn't getting greased or anything. I like the creamy peanut butter versus the chunky stuff. Creamy won't tear the bread if you spread the PB first (which I do) and won't hurt your gums, which is an issue when you get slightly older (which I am). Then you apply grape jelly, Use a good amount but don't turn the white bread purple. Three sandwiches usually does the trick.

Ramen noodles, now who could forget that? Inexpensive noodles boiled in water for three minutes in two cups of water. Then you remove them from the heat and stir in the chicken flavored powder. Don't drain; the broth is the best part.

Usually I have those two items three or four times a week after my workout. It only changes slightly, like maybe instead of noodles on a chilly day, maybe some cream of broccoli or the ever popular New England clam chowder. But that's only once in a while. Chowder is expensive. Sometimes I end all with a bowl of applesauce or some yogurt. That's another reason why I like Ramen Noodles so much; the price. I'm pretty sure they were ungodly inexpensive when I was young, like 24 for $1.00 or something like that. They're first thing you purchased when taking off to the dorms or when you just get married.

I kind of feel like I live in a dorm now, disability does not pay a lot. I did move into a new place and when I started getting some groceries I spied a 12-pack of noodles. Memories started flooding my mind and that 12-pack found its way into my cart. Ramen Noodles will forever be on any and all my grocery lists for many years.

I was living with my parents and really still am. There is an apartment downstairs where my parents lived before they bought the house. After they bought the house they moved upstairs and rented the downstairs where they once lived. . Later on in life Dad didn't want to put up with the landlord stress so he made it an in-law apartment. My mothers mother lived there, rent -free of course, (God rest her soul) for 22 years, and instead of letting the pipes freeze, I moved in.

We all did some repairs (paint, new floors, and new heating system). It not bad at all. It's a small place but more than enough room for one person. Stove, refrigerator, required coffee maker, T.V, computer; I'm good to go. I'm getting to like this place more and more every day. It's almost like every piece of furniture, or anything there for that matter, has a story, a reason for being there. That's an important question for each and every disabled person or for those getting slightly older. Ask yourself this question before, during, and after you purchase an item or embark on some new adventure; Is it needed? What's the purpose? If you can't answer these questions honestly then whatever it is displays a waste of time in your life. K.I.S.S. method (keep it simple stupid), remember? Consider the following quote by Antoine de Saint-Exupery;

Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.

Don't be adding things to your live in you yet to master what you have. I could always add to my apartment. A new desk, more lights, etc. but like everyone else I seek the perceived perfection that we were all brought up to grasp. Are we not all looking for some sort of our own perceived perfection in our own worlds? Keep it short and simple and perfection is a lot closer than you think.

Live within your means

How many times have we heard that? Maybe the question should be why haven't you? I see excess not needed everyday from so many people which tells me people have been hearing the old wives tale but not comprehending the meaning and putting the words to the test.

This financial crunch I am personally in and that of the world in general has caused me to look deep inside myself and question each and every purchase I may need to make.

Is it cheaper somewhere else? Yes and good quality as well, you just need to research. It really does not matter what it is, someone somewhere will bend over backwards to get you that product, after all are we not all salesmen looking for that big roll!

Is it necessary? Chances are it's not. An upgrade to a product you have now or a new product you may add means;

1. New problems, issues will arise.

2. Money that could easily have gone towards a bill is gone. forever

Chapter Two

Jeff

If there needs to be some sort of disability time line in your mind, the disease first started growling thru my father who crept into my brother then slithered my sisters and my way. Allow me to introduce you to my brother. He's 48 years old at this writing. His life was taken away at age 16 by a freak accident which caused a severe brain injury. His life went on physically, but he hit a speed bump.

I don't know a lot about the accident because it hurts me way to much too question my folks and my heart skips a few beats when I look into his eyes but here is what I do know. A friend and he were going swimming at a local rock quarry at age 16. It was his friend's first day with the license or some other significant time; I'm not sure what it was. They were coming home after the swim and were buzzed from some beer they had gotten. It was easy for an underage kid to get some alcohol then, just ask someone older and magically it appears. I'm older now and I think it takes almost an act of god now but I cannot be sure.

The two of them were in a blue panel van, actually more of a truck, which had large...