She's Twelve Going On Twenty: Nurturing Your Daughter through the Tween Years

Camp, Kim

ISBN 10: 0849937590 / ISBN 13: 9780849937590

Verlag: Thomas Nelson, 2000

Good condition. A copy that has been read but remains intact. May contain markings such as bookplates, stamps, limited notes and highlighting, or a few light stains. Bestandsnummer des Verkäufers R04C-02887

Inhaltsangabe:

As the mother of a young girl aged 9-16, you want a lot for your daughter. You want to see her soar in self-confidence and accomplishment. You want to help her steer a safe course through the often-treacherous waters of school, culture, and hormones. You want her to grow closer to God and learn to rely on His word. Through it all, you yearn to maintain a warm, open mother-daughter relationship.

No, it's not easy-but She's Twelve Going on Twenty can help! It's a comprehensive, Christian approach to issues almost every mother and daughter will encounter, such as:

• Identity and faith ("Who am I?" "What do I believe?")
• Family and friends (conflict, competition, and connection)
• Music, movies, TV and the net (what to allow, how to make good judgements)
• Boys and falling in love)
• Sex and purity)
• Integrity issues (lying and cheating))
• School and grades)
• Diet and exercise (including eating disorders))
• Drugs and alcohol)
• Clothes, fads, appearance, and body language)
• Boundaries and personal safety)

Easy-to-read and deeply personal, this invaluable book draws on a wealth of practical experience, careful research, and a deep grounding in the Christian faith and the Bible. The practically oriented "Working It Out Together" sections at the end of each chapter offer simple communication starters and activities to help you and your daughter talk things out and plot a positive course together for the challenging but exciting adolescent years.

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She's Twelve going on Twenty

Nurturing Your Daughter Through the Tween Years

By Kim Camp

Thomas Nelson

Copyright © 2013 Kim Camp
All rights reserved.

ISBN: 978-0-8499-3759-0

Contents

Introduction: Defining the Dream...........................................
vii
Part I: Spirit.............................................................
1. Who Am I?...............................................................
3
2. Why Am I Here?..........................................................
23
3. What Do I Believe?......................................................
43
4. What Is Faith?..........................................................
59
5. Who Is Influencing Me?..................................................
73
6. How Can I Feed My Spirit?...............................................
87
Part II: Soul..............................................................
7. Family and Friends......................................................
103
8. Music and Media.........................................................
117
9. Boys and Falling in Love................................................
133
10. Competition and Complications with Friends.............................
157
11. School Influence and Grades............................................
173
12. Morality...............................................................
183
Part III: Body.............................................................
13. Diet and Exercise......................................................
197
14. Weight and Eating Disorders............................................
213
15. Drugs and Alcohol......................................................
227
16. Sex and Purity.........................................................
241
17. Style and Body Language................................................
259
18. Boundaries.............................................................
267
Conclusion: Connecting the Circle, Creating the Dream......................
279
Notes......................................................................
285

CHAPTER 1

Who Am I?

Have you seen the Disney movie Anastasia? It is the storyof a ten-year-old Russian princess who is separated fromher family. Anastasia receives a wound to her head and is leftwith amnesia. By the time she reaches the age of eighteen, shelongs to know who she is and hopes to find a better life. Onher search she discovers her true identity and finds her truelove. Finding the truth about her heritage replaces yearningand confusion with belonging and the seeds of confidence.The girl who emerges, although timid in confidence, is verystrong in character. She has found her identity.

Anastasia certainly isn't the only one on an identityquest. Recently I read about a club for loners. To join, anapplicant must write to a certain address and explain why she(or he) enjoys being alone. In return she will receive "lonerparaphernalia," the assurance that her name will be includedon an exclusive list, and the promise that—once identified asa loner—she will be left alone. Even the most reclusive andwithdrawn people in our society need to feel that they belongto something. They need "identity."

Young girls try to gain a sense of identity in myriad ways:fashions, hairstyles, activities, jewelry, attachments to rockbands, wealth, size of home, family name and heritage, justto name a few. Their sense of identity shapes who they are. Itaffects their goals and basic belief systems, leading to confidenceor insecurity, rest or restlessness, hope or hopelessness.

Thankfully, our daughters' identities do not need to bedependent on such changeable external forces as trends, looks,and personal image. As believers, we hope to communicatethat everyone's true identity is based on her position in Christand on her inner qualities. But convincing a young girl of thisreality may not be as easy as it sounds. As moms, we need tobe prepared.

Our daughters are uniquely created by God to blossomand grow into beautiful women of His design. These preciousflowers are both tender and strong. Some don't know theirstrength, while others exert it too frequently. The tender side isoften hidden with time. How can we water and prune the flowers,expose them to the light, accept and fashion the thorns todisplay strength and protection, and explore with love all theshades of color in the petals?

Will we do it perfectly? No. Will we make mistakes? Yes.But our daughters are part of God's garden, and He will alwaysguard and protect His own. He knows our finite capabilities, andHe promises to give us His wisdom and discernment as we seekHim with a whole heart. Isn't it amazing that He has entrustedHis precious, developing girl children to us?

It is necessary for us to look closely and lovingly at ourdaughters, to see beyond their youthful charades in order tounderstand their needs.

A wealthy couple stayed in an exclusive private club inParis with their two young daughters. One night their oldestdaughter showed up at a dinner party—where her parents'friends were present—dressed in black leather and accompaniedby a "forbidden" companion. The youngest daughter,looking innocent as a lamb, claimed to be tired and left theparty early. Before returning to the hotel, she sneaked off tosee a cute "English Prince Charming" she had met in an elevatorearlier that day. The parents were very concerned about theovertly disturbed older daughter, and compared her to their"perfect" daughter who was in bed asleep when they arrivedat the hotel after midnight.

Both girls were clamoring for the same guidance fromMom and Dad. They simply had different ways of communicatingtheir needs. It eventually came out that the youngerdaughter was sneaking out regularly and putting herself incompromising positions with various boys. The parents wereshocked, but they finally recognized that both girls were cryingout in their own ways, "Help me find out who I am!"

We parents are often tempted to fix the crisis situation—whateverit is—quickly. Ban the trendy clothes. Impound theCDs. Confiscate the makeup. Provide a crash course in appropriateand inappropriate behavior with the opposite sex. Thesesolutions may be good and necessary, but they will only betemporary unless we deal with one specific core question.

How can we help our daughters answer the question, whoam I?

In the movie Titanic, the leading female character, Rose,has a very predictable life. She was born into wealth with theunderstanding that she might lose it all if she doesn't marrywell. She is expected to use her position in society to protecther family name and carry on her privileged legacy.

Rose appears to know who she is and what is expected ofher. Yet inside she sees someone else—someone who doesn'tfit her mother's expectations and is crying to get out and awayfrom the cold, overbearing man she is to marry.

Desperate, Rose decides to end her life....

Bibliografische Details

Titel: She's Twelve Going On Twenty: Nurturing Your...
Verlag: Thomas Nelson
Erscheinungsdatum: 2000
Einband: Softcover
Zustand: Good