CHAPTER 1
"Isn't it adorable?" Stephanie squealed, holding up the baby outfit. Kay cringed ... She hated baby showers, and if Stephanie hadn't worked with her for the past two years, she would have refused the invitation. How could there be so much to say about a person who isn't even born yet? Anyone watching would have never guessed the deep repulsion Kay felt toward babies. Struggling to maintain her composure, she made her excuses, grabbed her coat, and let herself out into the cold Manhattan night. She didn't notice the chill of the night air or the rain that peppered down until she pushed a stray hair from her forehead then reaching for her umbrella, she remembered leaving it in Stephanie's apartment but she refused to go back. Besides, a little rain never hurt anyone. Nothing in New York bothered her. In fact, Kay thrived on the hustle and bustle of the big city. Stepping toward the curb, she hailed a passing taxi and settled herself in to enjoy the ride home.
All the talk about babies had upset her more than she wanted to admit. She knew she would never have children and felt justified in her decision. Her mother had died at the age of forty, forcing Kay and her five brothers and sisters to live with their aunt.
Her aunt had three children of her own, which brought the grand total of children in one house to eight. A cold shiver ran through her as a floodgate of memories forced their way into her thoughts. She knew at a young age she would pursue a career and never succumb to the marriage syndrome, picket fence and the patter of little feet. After graduating from high school, she had left home and never looked back. She had graduated with honors from one of New York's top fashion design schools, then landed a job at one of the largest fashion houses. At the age of thirty-two, Kay felt she was on top of the world. She owned an airy co-op in a luxurious high-rise on the West Side and had worked her way through the ranks to become one of a handful of the company's top designers. The fact that she had just been awarded her own line and her own label, "KAE of NEW YORK" made the years she had struggled worth it, because now she was going to reap the rewards. She took a deep breath pushing the thought of babies far back in the recesses of her consciousness and vowed she would never go to another baby shower. The rain enhanced her darkened mood, as the streets of Manhattan slipped by—Forty-Ninth, Fiftieth, Fifty-First.
She wondered what Jake had been doing while she had been smiling her fake smile pretending to listen to the girls' idle chatter. Whatever Jake had done would have been better than what she had endured. She smiled as his image invaded her thoughts. They had been an item for the past three years. Of course, the company had a policy against dating fellow employees, but when could love ever be stopped by a policy? Kay wondered if she did love Jake. Her mind shied away from the emotion called love, their relationship was based on mutual respect and shared interests. Granted, she enjoyed being with him, but she didn't know if she wanted to be with him for the rest of her life. She wasn't sure she wanted someone in her life full time. The taxi pulled to a stop in front of her hi-rise. She paid the driver and climbed out as Tom, the doorman, held an umbrella over her.
"Hi, Tom, is it cold enough for you?" Kay asked.
"It sure is, and I hear it's supposed to get colder." He pulled his coat collar up around his ears to ward off the nippy wind.
"Thanks. See ya tomorrow," Kay called over her shoulder as she entered the warm building.
Inside her apartment, she threw her coat on a chair and ran her fingers through her damp, blonde hair. She almost gagged as she wiped the raindrops from her face and the smell of the baby lotion, everyone had insisted she try, had her running to the bathroom. She washed her hands, not wanting to be reminded of the past two hours.
Entering the bedroom, she kicked off her shoes, and clicked on the answering machine. Everyone had told her to get rid of her antique machine but she couldn't. It was a link to her childhood, one of the few memories she had enjoyed so she had kept her phone and answering machine. She smiled as she listened to the voices of her friends and associates. The last caller was unfamiliar. She stepped closer as the voice choked out.
"Katy, I'm sorry you weren't home. I did want to explain. Hope you will understand. See you when I get back. Gotta hurry; my plane is leaving." The caller coughed. "Bye, and God bless you." Click.
Kay trembled. No one had called her Katy except her father and a few kids at school. This definitely wasn't her father; he had died when she was twelve, causing her mother to start her slow decline. Then who could this be? She had severed all ties with her past and locked her hurtful childhood away in some secret compartment of her heart, refusing to look at it for the past fourteen years. Now, in one night, it all came rushing back. She replayed the message. Obviously the caller was sick and had to leave, but what did that have to do with her? She jumped when the phone suddenly began to ring. It rang three more times before she heard her voice saying, "Hi, leave a message I'll call you back."
"Hi, honey." Jake's familiar voice came through loud and clear "Thought you'd be home by now. Call me."
"Jake, Jake?" She gasped as she jerked the receiver from its cradle.
"What's up?"
"N-nothing. I think I might be coming down with a cold, and all that talk about babies upset me."
"Talk about babies always upsets me," Jake said with a laugh. "Did you get caught in the rain? You sound terrible"
Why had she said that? Yes, talking about babies did upset her, but she didn't have a cold. The man on the answering machine had a cold.
"I got a little wet, you know me I left my umbrella at Stephanie's but I'll feel better in the morning.
"Guess I'll let you get some rest. See you tomorrow."
"I'm sure a good night's sleep is all I need. Bye. Love you!" Kay hung up, still puzzled by the man's voice on the machine. Obviously he had known her when she was young and everyone had called her Katy. She shook her head, trying to clear out the entire evening that had turned out to be the worst she could remember since coming to New York. She rubbed the base of her neck trying to avoid the tension headache that was slowly working its way into a full blown migraine. She needed a distraction. Grabbing her robe she slid out of her dress, and propped herself up against the mass of designer pillows covering the bed. She picked up the remote from the nightstand and clicked the "on" button, but the blur of cop shows, inane sitcoms, and endless pharmaceutical ads wasn't helping. Sighing, she clicked off the television and leaned back against the pillows, again recalling the strange message. Someone from her childhood had called and was going to call again. Unbidden memories came flooding back to her. She thought of her mother, whom she had loved dearly, and her younger brother, Matt, the family clown. No matter how difficult life seemed, he always had a way of finding something amusing about the situation.
If only there was someone she could talk to. Her thoughts turned to Lisa. Why had she picked this weekend to go out of town? For the past three years Kay had used her for a sounding board whenever she needed to vent. Lisa was everything Kay wasn't—frivolous, unpredictable, and spoiled. Her father, a Wall Street executive, had...
