CHAPTER 1
The Jazz and the Blues
It was that year I was born. Was it a newsworthy event? Yes. I was born. Was it historical? Maybe. Cultural? I doubt it, but who knows. Astrological? It must have been since I was born. That means the planets and the stars the whole universe was in harmony giving birth to ME. How was it? Sweat and pain and screaming and yelling. A lot of pain. It must have hurt a lot coming to an unknown place all alone, trying to make my way into the world. And all you see is a light, bright and colored like a rainbow. In fact it is a rainbow. The light. It has all the colors in it. It has everything you want. And something more, Life!
It was quite some time ago but I still remember it. Or maybe ... Anyway ever since that day I have started to die a little. Every day we die a little. So strange, isn't it? We are born to start dying. Every second until we finally remember the day we made the step into the unknown. But maybe that day, the final day, we'll remember exactly that moment, The Birth. It is the moment we are (are we?) ready to be reborn and see the light. Again.
There was a lot of talking crap, wasn't there?
"At least you've had a good morning, haven't you?" my neighbor said to me this morning. I suppose he's right, since nothing is personal or private or intimate anymore nowadays.
In fact I did have a good morning today. I managed to get up like every single morning since that very day when I saw the light. And it's a miracle. Just think how marvelous life is; to feel the heart beating, the blood rushing into your veins and the sweat drops trickling-down all over your body. To wake up early in the morning and open your eyes wide into a fabulous new world full of the unexpected. Full of colors, of dance and movement. Of silence
Of Jazz
And Blues
How was I? Naked. Pretty much naked. As I am today. As I was before and shall be tomorrow. I mean, why should we need something so trivial, so useless as some pieces of thread to hide ... what?
Us from whom we are, to be sure that we'll succeed and conquer that tiny spot, that short moment we've been given here, that we call life?
That morning I thought it would be as usual; shiny and warm. But it wasn't. The wind started to blow and it was quite chilly. The train station looked like a spider net of railways and people. So many people! I've never seen so many in the same place.
There were hundreds of them and all in a hurry making their own smelly tracks on the big hall floor, or waiting diligently for a train to arrive. Sleeping or reading, eating or just holding tightly their crying babies. Or maybe each other's hands, listening to that thrilling, sensual music flowing smoothly through their own breathing haze. If it wasn't for that music playing the moment I entered the hall room, that moment when I met him ...
All that jazz ...
I didn't say a thing, I was just quiet. And waited.
It was the first time. The journey. Was it? Yes, it was, so I was both excited and worried at the same time. Everything was new for me; the places, the town, the road. The people. When I think of it I realize that I was so nervous and focused that day that in fact I don't remember much of the trip. Who were those people on the bus, on the train? Don't know. I have no idea. People. Just people. Travelling
People. Like me.
But I did manage to wake up every day since then. Every morning. Today too. And it's a miracle, isn't it?
Where am I? Here, I suppose. Still here, aware of the moment. At least I try. But seen from another perspective, from another side of the Universe, I don't even exist. I am fiction.
How do I look? Still 25
What am I doing? That was a damn good question.
Who am I with?
Well ...
I still got the blues
"The Mayans believed in a story in which the universe is born, but eventually it dies after five thousand years, only to be resurrected again and again, to repeat the unending cycle of birth and destruction." (Kaku, M., Parallel Worlds, 4)(Kaku, Parallel Worlds, 2004)
"Could you please spell your name" said the judge.
"J- - A - - ... hmm ..." she said, trying to picture the letters. By the middle of the name the judge stopped her.
"Thank you, it's enough", he said realizing she was not used to spelling.
"Whatever" she said to herself, or maybe she only thought of it, letting her hand glide through the air as if measuring the beat of a song.
Unstarted
Unfinished
"Raise your right hand. Place your left hand on the Bible."
She hesitates.
"Ma'am, do you understand me? Do you understand what I'm saying?" said the court officer, raising his voice, looking at the judge with pleading eyes and then with anxiety at the woman standing in front of the desk where two microphones and two copies of the Bible were laying.
She turned her head and looked to the courtroom. Those faces staring back at her, unknown, unwanted. It all felt like a dream, a bad one. It was something that she'd only seen in movies and she never imagined it could happen to her.
"Yes, I understand" she said looking at the court officer who took a few steps towards her to make sure she could hear him.
"Yes, I understand" she repeated, "but I don't believe in God, and I don't believe in the Bible either."
"It's okay! No problem" the judge said. He was a white haired gentle looking old man who seemed more interested in her now.
"Raise your right hand, please" the court officer said.
CHAPTER 2
THE LETTERS
Date: Thu, 15 Oct, 10:07
To: me
The question? We were at the answer ... which you failed to give me ... regarding the things that you do for your own soul, the things that you feed the maze of your inner self with.
And the question?
9:35
What time is it there?
Ok, but ... you didn't answer my question
... So you're not interested in the material aspect of the human existence, most people are – "mea culpa", sorry, but in the spiritual one.
Okay.
* * *
To: me
Interests, hobbies, interpretation of your personal space? Except for your family, your job, your children, presence or absence of pets, and many or not so many miles to the city ... what else is there in your life?
Send me a photo
The subject ... it's you!
Tell me about yourself
* * *
You?
You
... Okay. Pick a subject.
* * *
What a shame. As you wish
* * *
... Not talking?! ...
* * *
Cool!
Still ... not talking?
"Fate"
* * *
Date: 28/10/ 00:50
From: m
Can I answer your question after you come back?
How long will you be gone? A week?
* * *
Date: /10/28
You can answer it when you want to, if you want to. I have learned that nothing is compulsory ...
Yes, I'll be gone a week.
* * *
Date: 31/10/ 10:07
I believed you when you told me you were busy. Should there be any reason for me not to believe you?
* * *
Date:...
