CHAPTER 1
My God, here I go again putting together another part of my life while being guided by You Lord, to share with the world. It seems like just yesterday I finished writing a book, now I'm back at my computer writing again about the greatest man in my life, ever, You Lord. There is none greater than You.
Well, where do I begin? I already know to start at the beginning. This is something You don't have to do because You are God and You already know our ending before our beginning. To start out let me talk about the storms in my life that brought about my being elevated to a higher level in my Christian faith and walk, and the calling that is upon my life. I never dreamed or imagined that giving my life to the Lord and then answering His call would send my life totally and completely out of control. Well it did. I'm not blaming God for anything; I'm just sharing how He used these things and people to get me to the next level of my life and calling.
Considering where I came from and all that I had been through, I felt my life was complete, meaning put together real well. I had a good job working for the state. It brought in very good money. I could work all the over time I wanted, and I did just that. God had given me my own home, and allowed me to also purchase a second home just because I had asked Him for it. I wanted to see if what I heard a guest preacher that was at our church speaking on "God said there is no recession for His children. It's your season to reap His blessings.", or something to that effect, was true. Then he went on to say, "I dare you to try Him. Ask for whatever you want and He (God) is going to give it to you".
I am a member of The First Cathedral in Bloomfield CT, under the leadership of Archbishop LeRoy Bailey Jr., Senior Pastor, and I tell you this man will not let just any ol' body into his pulpit. If you are not walking as God, not him but as God, would have you to, meaning if your life is not showing God in it, meaning if your life is not lining up with the Word of God, you will not be stepping in that pulpit feeding his congregation. No sir, no way, he will not have that. He takes what God has given him to heart. He knows God, he loves the Lord, and what belongs to the Lord he holds dear to his heart with the utmost respect. So if you ever get to stand in that pulpit count it is a privilege, ok? Well back to my story. I took a little detour. (Just had to let those of you who he has allowed to stand before his congregation to count it a joy that he obeyed God and not his flesh). Well, I got the second home by trying God as suggested and I used this house to help people who were struggling and needed a helping hand to get on their feet and start over. I did not ask much for rent, `just enough to cover the note', as they say in the south. The house was in Charlotte North Carolina.
I have a gift. This gift is a heart to help and to give to others, if you need it, and I have it, than you have it. I will give it to you, no if ands, or buts about it. I have always been this way even before I got saved. This gift was hard in my worldly days, and brought me much heartache back in the day because people tend to use folks like me. Now it's a joy to have it and to be able to freely give. You see, there is a difference in giving from your heart and giving to be liked or accepted (buying love or a friend). Those of you who have been there or are still stuck there know what I'm talking about. I know the difference now and I use this gift in more than one way for more than one reason. I know that sometimes we can give because we want to be liked or part of (fit in), we sometimes give because it will help to keep us safe, or for LOVE. But I tell you to be able to give freely because God has laid it on your heart to do so; there is nothing more rewarding than that. So be mindful why you give.
There is a great reward in giving when we give in obedience to God's plan of action. There are some that like to give because they want to have something to talk about, to boast and tell others what they have done. Be careful, the Bible speaks about this kind. You will reap your own reward. Don't tell anyone when you help a person. That is a secret between you and God and that person. What a great thing, to have a secret between you and God. That means He trusts you or He is trying to change you. So you're your mouth about it if God has asked you to help someone. (I don't know who that nugget was for but take it to heart) He could have asked someone else but it was special that He blessed you so you could be a blessing to someone else.
After I got my house I started to save money, a little here and there, and doing a lot more giving, and working on giving to the church. I love to give and this is what I wanted to do ever since I'd gotten saved. I wanted to have enough money to be able to stand in what I call `the big wheels of the church givers line' and be able to give a thousand dollars at a time at any service we had. I wanted to stand in that line, so I worked overtime to be able to do that. Besides that, I love clothes, I love to shop, and I am a smart shopper. God gives me the best for less. Amen to that. I kept on working and working and doing my church thing and before I knew it I had been on this job 6 and half years. I was on a role. I had a lot of challenges on this job, I was hated because of Who's I am (SAVED), hated because of the money I was making, then even hated and picked on because I came to work. My attendance record was excellent. I only missed about two weeks of work in the 6 years. God kept me and man, I was really on a roll until one day my doctor's office called me after I had blood work done for my blood pressure follow-up. (I went every four months like clockwork) I returned the call, was told to make an appointment to come in to speak with the Doctor in person. I was too busy working to get concerned so I went in two days later and was told that my liver enzymes were very high and she needed me to consider seeing a liver specialist. I did not want to go but I went because she sounded very concerned due to the results of the blood test report. So, appointment made, blood work done, and results three weeks later suggested that I go on shots as well as other medication for my liver. I had Hepatitis C but it was only on a small section of my liver. I was like, listen, my liver has not bothered me all these years so why do you want to start fixing on something that is not broke. You see I knew the shot was dangerous. When I say dangerous I mean every letter that's in the word, D-A-N-G-E-R-O-U-S. Listen, anytime you go to a doctor that you have never seen before and the first thing they want to do is start filling out disability papers before they know your birthdate you are headed for a rough ride. I tell you I had to fast and pray and seek spiritual guidance from my God ordained dad, who is also, as you know, my pastor. I am really his daughter, just that God had to give me to him. I don't think, no I know, he would have chosen another Carolyn if he knew who the Lord was sending him (ha ha). No, I can truly say he has never, ever, made me feel less than. As a matter of fact he always stayed on top of things that concerned my health from day one, and I had a lot of them; my mind, my eyes, needing glasses, proper living arrangements, as well as eating the right foods. Most pastors don't do all of this for a person from the streets, that he has just laid eyes on as a new member, but I have always felt special (important) to him...
