CHAPTER 1

The 2nd

Forgotten Memory

On open thrust, side-set and it's dust.
I know now that no one is true, not even you! "I break ..."
It was my heart, you ripped from my chest. And it was our love that pushed me to death.
No one to hold, I shiver in ice bent-cold ... Everybody is untrue, everyone and you.
I crumble down, with a love so untrue.
Now under the frost of this broken youth, I know now that I was used.
Why won't the mirror stop laughing? Why won't the feeling just pass me?
Now ... Here I lie weeping. With this forgotten memory ...


Forever Passed Me

Thirteen hidden shadows, of the monster that is behind this face.
Of the forever torment that I gave, now on the whore-bent reason.
Of giving you back what you raped from me, my youth now just a dream.
And on the forever being the monster that I feared in the sleep.
It creeps upon me and I fuck you away. Now all I want is to fade.
I'm so sorry that I spilt that glass and our forever is now passed us.
So sorry that Always wasn't as long as we thought. I am sorry that you died and I forgot ...
We were the breath of being the now but so faded and away from the truth.
Now you decay and I slip away, into sound-sorrows of the Madness-Joy.
Of being the demon I hate but there is nothing I can say but, "wow ..."
Oh it could have been the God-Sent and we could have been love-bent.
But you just crumble away. Now here in the hourglass I sleep and sway.
In the twilights of the once broken teeth on white bone.
Of the once torn meat ... Salt-sweet as candy-lust on the tip of my tongue.
"Just hit me in the throat." Please laugh while I wish to unwind.
But I can never let it fade to the bottom of the lake.
Here is the last given truth of the forever pass me.
I was just a man and fell to hell. I am but just a child.
Buried deep at the bottom of a dead oak "but we are still okay."
Maybe I could open the door and my soul could escape.
God, I want to just drop to the ground and stay.
Forever passed me ... The thought that I could have love again.
"Now here I go, saying the same old things of yesterday."
"I need to awake." Just tell me that I'll be okay.
Just tell me that today holds more than my fate.
Forever passed me ... the Now is my reason to breathe.
I inhale and drift away, where I wish to stay.
Lying next to my love as she decays and I wake up alone again today.
But the burn in the back of my mouth is still the same.
The confusion is forever passed me. And the tool still lies beneath the frozen lake.
"Welcome home ..."


The Last Step

On the only thing I knew, I was broken and so were you.
Now on the last step, into the forever of our only way.
Now only I can speak, the numb-sound of the bloody-grave.
On the only thing that I knew, that I am dead and so are you.

We fall tumbling into a wonderment of the forever we were.
Now in the last thing I know, is that we will forever be the story untold.
How hard was it to scream under water?
Why is it that you sink to the bottom?

Here on the last step, I fall and gaze deep into what you did.
I can never forgive you for what you've done.
I am sorry but this is all I have left.
Here I lay weeping, over the leaves of my forever-truth.
Over so many years weeping and your love stole my youth.

I fall bleeding and no one is there to see.
I scream bleeding, and no one cares to help me!
Please look into my eyes and know that I'm okay.

On the last step, I wonder if I was right.
I sit here in question ... "Dark day - bright night."
Should I care anymore, here in this haze that I made?

I stand on the last step, just one breath away.
I weep on the last step, just one heartbeat away.
Just one last step, and all will be set straight.
Now on the last step, into the forever of our only way.
"Finally I can open my eyes."


SSpitting / Choking

And I was broken, now spitting / choking.
I fall down hitting, now bleeding and wishing.
No one here to care if I die. No one here to watch me fry.
Have I been beaten? Have I been bleeding? Will none of you ever care..?
And I was broken, now smashing / choking.
I fall deep again into despair, did you never care?
No one here to see me scream. No one here to watch me bleed.
Could you ever just help me up? Could you ever just lend a hand?
Will no one care? Why God, have I done something wrong?
Was I not meant to have a heart? Was I not meant to stay together ...?
"Just fall apart?"
I lie here bleeding, over my lost nerves.
I lay here screaming, over my wounds that hurt.
I roll over spitting and choking. I die now wondering if I could be free.
It was just because I questioned, it was all because I cared.
I hurt now everyday, drowning in despair.


Golden Sands

Now over her wrist I lick the hate, in drowning wishes of the never-sane.
I was falling but now I stand. I bite the torment and watch her sin.
Over the nothing, that I was once a forgotten man.
Here I lay in a wonderment of the golden sands.
Now I can only remember that face, here I rip the pleasure from her brain.
Digging deep into my chest, you cut and rip until nothing's left.
Why in such a hurry, will you be late?
Now I am buried, beneath a frozen lake.
Was there dripping ... With sin forming hate.
Now I lick it wishing, that it wasn't fate.
But she just takes it and smiles with a scream.
I can't take it! The monster haunting me.
Of no more love, now I run on empty.
Of the no one on my side, I lie here and whine.
With no one watching, now I poison the wine.
No more watching, as they drink and die.
Now over her wrist I lick the hate, in drowning wishes of the...