In a fresh and compelling way, Why Did You Give Up The Koochie And Now You Mad will educate men and women in understanding God's idea about woman, wife, and marriage. God built woman as a spectacular and wondrous masterpiece. She is indeed astonishing, a fabulous gift to humanity. Nevertheless, many women do not understand God's mind toward her. Many women are not acquainted with God's idea about her care; treatment; due respect; or the measure of love God decreed she receive. Society has taught women many disciplines. Many of which she ought to have never accepted. Understanding God's idea will empower women to see God's mind regarding His idea of her, and for her. In Why Did You Give Up The Koochie And Now You Mad women will discover God's reason for her creation; God's idea of her care and treatment; and God's intentions of man's expression of love that she deserves. Why Did You Give Up The Koochie And Now You Mad will teach both men and women about what the words man and husband actually means. They will also find the Scriptural definition of wife, also known as a good thing. Both will grasp God's idea of the Scriptural meaning of "submission" Men and women, husbands and wives will come to know, and understand what each is to yield to the other, and what neither should be willing to submit.

Why Did You Give Up The Koochie And Now You Mad

Understanding God's Idea of Woman, Wife, and MarriageBy Shadoew Rose Terrell

Balboa Press

Copyright © 2012 Shadoew Rose Terrell
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4525-6002-1

Contents

Dedication..............................................................................vAcknowledgements........................................................................xiIntroduction More Madness...............................................................xiiiChapter 1. Forgiveness..................................................................1Chapter 2. Deception....................................................................18Chapter 3. Silent Sufferer..............................................................31Chapter 4. Influential Immorality.......................................................42Chapter 5. Live In Lover................................................................60Chapter 6. Hush.........................................................................70Chapter 7. Daughters....................................................................83Chapter 8. Giving up The Koochie........................................................93Chapter 9. Calculated Entrapment........................................................108Chapter 10. Influence – The Power of the Koochie..................................128Chapter 11. When A Man Finds ...........................................................142Chapter 12. Husband.....................................................................151Chapter 13. The She-Man.................................................................166Chapter 14. Marriage – The Prototype of Christ and the Church.....................185Chapter 15. Communication...............................................................192Conclusion..............................................................................207

Chapter One

Forgiveness

I have often said, "Forgiveness is not solely for the person who committed an offense. It is equally necessary for the one offended." An offended person believes that if they forgive the offense and offender, it releases them of their guilt. That is what forgiveness does ... forgive and release. However, offended hearts resist accepting this truth.

Blinded by the offense, and the resistance to let go; they refuse to commit their heart to forgive. They believe the pain is too grievous an injury to exculpate. Therefore, because of the grave hurt and severe pain, offended people hold their afflictions close. They clinch to the pain as if it were a weapon to ward off any future threats of heartache.

Often, offended people drown in their own hurt and anguish. They refuse to forgive and release the person who affected the wrong, as well as the offense done against them. Through their painful eyes, they have become blind, not seeing the need to release or forgive the guilty. They believe the wrong doing was too devastating and the pain unjustifiably. The inability to forgive can cause people to relive the act of the offense repeatedly, even if it occurred five, ten, or twenty years prior. The realism of present life smothers in past pain.

Negative pain left untreated affects all manner of life. Untreated pain hinders cultivation of healthy relations. God graced us with this rewarding pleasure, the capacity to spend our lives with other people. Pain infringes upon this desire to spend. We withhold giving, loving, laughing, and living life, as hurt restricts our forward movement to continue to spend or love.

Pain causes us to feel as though we are spent, leaving us too afraid to give anything else. It causes us to feel we already emptied ourselves of all we had. "Enough already, I can take no more, I have nothing left to give, I have had enough." Although alive, people stop living at the point of pain, and life has the tendency to pass by them. In truth, we spend our heart every day, on joys as well as sorrows, sadness as well as gladness.

Pain is exhausting and humiliating, numbing the best of vibrant souls. What value does life offer, if too numb to spend life? The living spends life on hurt and pain, pleasure and gladness. Life comes with a number of surprises, some to our delight, and some to our dismay. Nevertheless, God bestowed life upon us to live, and to live fully, in spite of obstacles. Who wants to live and die unspent, having not given their all? What we learn from life's experiences are priceless.

We are going to spend our lives on many happenings in life; unfortunately, on occasion, it includes a measure of suffering. Our journey through life is part pleasure and part pain. At times, more pain than pleasure. We welcome pleasure while despising pain; after all, why the need to suffer? We prefer to live without the cost of any displeasure. However, when we learn to lean on God, and cast our cares upon Him, He is faithful to strengthen us through every discomfort.

Casting the whole of your care [all your anxieties, all your worries, all your concernsonce and for all] on Him, for He cares for you affectionately and cares about you watchfully (1st Peter 5:7AMP).

As long as we are alive, life will present a host of circumstances, which will shape, form, and stretch us beyond our own imaginary limits. We experience good, bad, and the indifferent mixed into the cycle of our life. Painful experiences, though unwanted, heighten our understanding and provoke a compassion for others we would not encompass. A crisis can turn into a powerful testimony to inspire others who endured similar hardships.

Pain is a part of our human experience. It is like an unexpected thief you did not expect. It surprises you. It strikes in places we did not necessarily anticipate, and though we must suffer it, we cannot let the heartache become paralyzing. How do we stop it, and end the pain? One-way to lessen the sting is through forgiveness. Forgiveness not only releases pain, but also releases you from the weight of not forgiving.

God's Grace

God grants us the grace to overcome misfortunes. He placed within our spirit the power to forgive. If we refuse the grace given to us, we embitter ourselves by denying what we can overcome. When we deny God's gift of forgiveness, we hold to pain we can release. Unreleased pain will birth fear. Fear will spread like a wildfire through all areas of life. It impedes the ability to trust. If fear indoctrinates you, you will expel people you should embrace, and judge people by what you have suffered. You will see through fear and pain, which disqualifies the reason to forgive. You will live, just not to the fullest extent possible.

A broken heart does not forgive easily, and brokenness is susceptible to its destruction. People the closest feel the greatest impact. Heartbroken people, who do not forgive, become bitter. When you interact with them most of the time, they are angry. You have no delight in their company. It is not as though you no longer love them. Rather, you choose to avoid contamination from the poison leaking, and oozing from their person.

Heartbroken people can act mean-spirited and sabotage friendships by their attitude and conduct. People, who hurt, hurt people, whether intentionally or not. Usually, people closest to hurt people suffer affliction the most. If not careful, hurting people end up alone, as their pain turns destructive towards self, and those around them. Forgiveness is the most critical step toward restoration of a broken heart. "Do not stay in prison when God graced...