A Life Going to be Christian-Lived

At the end of one's life, how does a well-lived life matter? How and to what degree can the human condition of those exposed to such a life be affected? Can a story like the one to follow change people and even the world to become a better place — a place that matters and is worth living? Will it be a place where a mass of people can see the benefits of goodness and the repercussions from badness with no confusion about what is good and what is bad? How does one determine truth in such a story? Questions to ponder followed by a search for their answers should we have the desire to matter. Regardless of by whom and why such a journey is undertaken, it is the journey that matters more than the outcome. It is because there is no pure or last outcome as the circular movement of life is perpetual. We are born, we grow up, and we die; and through this process, we live, we learn, and we teach, whether we actively choose to engage in the process or not. The impact of lives upon one another is never linear; it never finishes. There are no end results; it is a forever movement. My friend knew this. This is his story — the story of Theodore Tobias Greenwood and the cast of characters that surrounded his life.

I still don't fully understand it all, but the impact from being exposed to Tobias is often not easily described but always felt. When we were young, I found him strange, but I always wanted to be around him. As I got a bit older, I found many of the things he did and didn't do oddly interesting, and I still wanted to always be around him. When I got even older, I became fascinated by what he was able to do; and older still, I was amazed and never stopped wanting to be around him. I began to realize the gift of this friendship over the years and now I am deeply touched, grateful, and inspired by the impact Tobias's life had on me and our little community in Kannot, Pennsylvania. I chose to believe it was all related to a higher power — one of love, one of free will, and one who I believe we will all answer to one day. Tobias knew the Bible and went to church every Sunday, though he would rarely mention an organized religion. I believe he had a very close relationship with God.

For those who don't subscribe to God, or any higher power, I think they can look at Tobias and still be in awe of the manner in which he lived his life. On this earth, I think I have been as close to what God wishes me to represent as anyone ever. I believe I grew up being exposed to his love and grace through Tobias. I would try to have such discussions with Tobias, but he would only say I was being weird. I think that was just something he was programmed to say to provide cover for his heavenly motives. He simply lived by example; he did not have to preach one word about a religion or his spirituality. He was a beautiful child who remained a beautiful man.

Tobias usually brought out the best in people and, oddly at times, the worst as well. Lessons would be learned from Tobias and from events that took place throughout his life. He would say that we learn goodness from each other or not (there was always an "or not") yet we would learn something. He rarely bantered about things. His communication, whether it be verbal or nonverbal, always seemed to have a direct point. Only the love of his earthly life could alter this communication style. The essence of Tobias manifested in all his relationships — with caregivers, elders, teachers, children, clergies, employers, classmates, everyone.

Nearing Tobias's final year, he began to relay much confidence in me — his friend since childhood. Most thought my mind was as quiet as my hesitancy of speaking sometimes which suggested so, but on the contrary, my mind was always working and taking in things. I now realize that Tobias knew this about me. He knew that no matter what he shared with me, I would have some reference to what he spoke. He would tell me things as if in chapter form. The mystery of himself has now aligned with the mystery experienced by so many others. It began to hit him too. When he began sharing how he remembered these stories, he would say,

"When I tell you my last story, it will all come together, and you will know."

He would say this as if I were a part of his puzzle, while all along, I thought Tobias was a piece to mine and everyone else's puzzle. In reflection, there was no way we could not be pieces to each other's puzzles and no one being the primary. I learned to not question Tobias's insights and words; I was humbled by the invitation into his world. Nonetheless, I still had to ask, "Know what, Tobias?"

"I'm not sure, but you and I will know together," he said.

The day he contacted me to share his final chapter, I came to his bedside. He seemed so much at peace. He had been in so much physical pain for so long — two months for this latest period of burn/grafting and infection. But this was his day. He owned it, and he ordered a pain-free day — a day with his friend. He somehow received the answers he sought. They seemed to bring him joy and peace, and he wanted to share these with me. Still, his hand lay there in that position again, and he admitted to me he knew it, reminding me again that he was not alone and never was. I did not have to ask for any clarification.

He began to speak of his mother and father and what he remembered of them. My goodness, he was only two and a half when they left this world, yet he had things stored in memory and could put language to them. I wasn't sure if this was possible, but with Tobias, I had to believe it was. He stated how much he loved his aunt and uncle — his adoptive parents. "They saved me," he would say. He told me of a recent conversation he had with his aunt with such a profound yet comfortable look on his scarred and beautiful face — the comfort and peace that seemed to wash away the scars. His aunt, apparently understanding Tobias's need for truth as he always requested, confessed to him the addictions of his mother and father and that their substance abuse was the reason for the accident. Though it was not the truth for his sake that he was seeking, he knew by unburdening his aunt and uncle of such a secret would bring them more peace when he was gone.

At the time, they questioned themselves and the professionals what was best: raising this young life with the open acknowledgment of this fact or, raising the child who had positive roots minus the idea of his...