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Inhaltsangabe: This is the unusual and succinct memoir of a man born and raised Amish. His childhood was often physically brutal and emotionally harrowing. His Amish preacher father was short-tempered and demanding and very frequently reprimanding and punishing. The author shares many details of childhood [and adult] abuse, confusion, hard won insights, and eventual turbulent entry into the mainstream of American "worldly" life. It is ultimately a story of triumph over tyranny and a sharp critique of abusive parenting practices and crazy-making religious indoctrination.
This book was published in conjunction with long-term, intense, deep-psychology inner work aided by experienced analysts. There are quite a number of aspects I could cite that motivated the writing and publication of this unusual and deeply personal story. But I'll keep this short and summarize with probably the single most important influence: "Healing the Shame That Binds You," by the Psychologist John Bradshaw. (see my Amazon review).
My book, Worthless Boy, tells the story of the childhood shaming and emotional and physical abuse that had trapped me in a desperate circularity of near-drowning in depression and intense struggling to overcome my psychological and spiritual wounding. I was 50 years old before ever encountering and knowing about this great million-seller book of Bradshaw's. I had a wise old therapist helping me through yet another deep clinical depression or 'dark night of the soul.' He began to teach me the wisdom and methods and theories of "Healing the Shame That Binds You." I bought the book and read it. To say the least it was a very great revelation and perhaps the single most important pivotal point in my now on-going life of recovery, healing, and personal growth.
Perhaps the single most important sentence (for me) in Bradshaw's great book, is the first sentence in Part 2 of the book: "To heal our toxic shame, we must come out of hiding." That thought would not let me go until I was finally ready to act on it. I began to admit things and apoligize for things that I had barely been able to even admit to myself before. I had been an alcohol abuser for decades but I just stopped drinking, cold turkey. The importance of 'coming out of hiding' is that once the unacceptable and hidden things we see in ourselves are exposed to the light, we can then experience the fact that what we were sure is unacceptable is, contrarily, not only accepted by others, but they can mirror back to us through their words and actions and acceptance, that we are only human-- no better or worse than anyone else. Oh, what a relief that is to the toxic-shamed person who lives in hiding, afraid lest others see one's 'utter worthlessness.'
So my book, Worthless Boy, is another important step in the long road of coming out of hiding and recovering a sense of self-respect and self-esteem. I write this note now a year and a half after the book's publication. To put it mildly, some of my readers were turned off. They apparently found it depressing and offensive. That came as no surprise because in the book I write very plainly about things that are, yes, depressing and offensive. But then there are those others who could see the value of the book and the courage it took to write it, and in their acceptance of me, my book, my shameful story, there is great relief and additional profound healing for my beaten-down and scorched psyche.
This whole memoir publishing experience has been tremendously helpful in my on-going recovery.
Do not be afraid, my friend, to tell your honest true real story. No one can do it for you but you.
So let this book stand as an example for anyone out there who suffers in lonely depressed silence as I once did. You can tell your story, and when you do, the respect and acceptance you will find mirrored back to you is an enormously healing thing. "To heal our toxic shame, we must come out of hiding."
Buchbeschreibung Outskirts Press, 2011. Hardcover. Buchzustand: Brand New. 98 pages. 8.70x5.80x0.70 inches. In Stock. Buchnummer des Verkäufers 1432780425
Buchbeschreibung Buchzustand: Brand New. Book Condition: Brand New. Buchnummer des Verkäufers 97814327804251.0
Buchbeschreibung Outskirts Press, 2011. Hardcover. Buchzustand: New. Buchnummer des Verkäufers P111432780425