Things That Make No Sense deals with everyday occurrences experienced by everyone as they go about their daily lives. Some things just don't make any sense at all! Many of the stories included here deal with common events such as unresponsive or poor customer service, which is becoming all too frequent these days. Some of these instances can probably be characterized as funny, some as unbelievable, and others as simply irrational. Sometimes the only appropriate reaction to one of these annoying events is disgust. Things That Make No Sense is an entertaining and amusing collection of sixty of the most ridiculous of these actions and decisions that author Kenneth W. Meeks has observed. No doubt everyone has had experiences similar to those recounted here-or even more unbelievable than the ones included in the book. Prepare to be sympathetically irked, incredibly entertained, and ridiculously amused!

Things That Make No Sense

By KENNETH W. MEEKS

iUniverse, Inc.

Copyright © 2010 Kenneth Meeks
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4502-4899-0

Contents

1 RADIO STATION WLKI......................................................32 TELEPHONE SERVICE.......................................................73 FACEBOOK PHOTOS.........................................................114 CELL PHONES IN CHURCH...................................................135 CELL PHONES AND DRIVING.................................................156 TROPICANA ORANGE JUICE..................................................197 NEW COKE................................................................238 RYE SNACK CHIPS.........................................................259 WONDER HANGER...........................................................2910 SURE ANTI-PERSPIRANT DEODORANT.........................................3311 COLLEGE BASKETBALL HOT SHOOTERS........................................3712 THE NAVY VERSUS AIR FORCE FOOTBALL GAME................................3913 CRAZY NCAA RULE........................................................4314 DIVISION III SPRING FOOTBALL...........................................4515 FOOTBALL OFFICIAL......................................................4716 COLLEGE FOOTBALL PASS DEFENSE..........................................5117 SPORTS PAGE ARTICLES...................................................5318 SPORTS OFFICIALS.......................................................5519 UNIVERSITY VANS........................................................5920 CHANGING CLASSROOMS....................................................6521 ACCREDITATION BOARD FOR ENGINEERING AND TECHNOLOGY.....................6922 POLICY ON SERVICE AWARDS...............................................7323 CONCRETE CANOE RACES...................................................7524 INFORMATION TECHNOLOGY.................................................8125 BUILDING RENOVATIONS...................................................8926 BACK STABBERS..........................................................9327 ADMINISTRATIVE ASSISTANTS..............................................9928 INTERSTATE EXIT NUMBERS................................................10729 INTERSTATE HIGHWAY CLOSURE IN PENNSYLVANIA.............................10930 OHIO TURNPIKE ROAD SIGNS...............................................11131 FALLING ROCKS ON THE PENNSYLVANIA TURNPIKE.............................11332 NAVY NUCLEAR SUBMARINE.................................................11933 THE NEW CHINESE NATION.................................................12134 VIETNAM WAR EXPERIENCE.................................................12535 MACARONI AND CHEESE....................................................13136 TV AUDIO IN BARBECUE RESTAURANT........................................13537 JEEP GRAND CHEROKEE LIMITED............................................13938 BUYING A NEW JAGUAR....................................................14139 AUTOMOBILE DEALERSHIP CLOSURES.........................................14740 U.S. NAVAL ACADEMY ALUMNI ASSOCIATION..................................15341 AMERICAN CONCRETE INSTITUTE............................................15542 ELECTRICITY OUTAGE.....................................................15743 HOMEOWNERS ASSOCIATION.................................................15944 FORT WAYNE VETERANS HOSPITAL...........................................16545 SHORTCHANGING VETERANS.................................................16946 AIRPORT SECURITY SCREENING.............................................17347 FAIRTAX................................................................17748 MICHAEL JACKSON'S DEATH................................................18149 PRESIDENT JIMMY CARTER.................................................18350 NAVAL PETROLEUM AND OIL SHALE RESERVES.................................18551 CUTTING GRASS..........................................................19352 COMPUTERS..............................................................19953 PENNSYLVANIA BANK......................................................20354 TECHNICAL SERVICE......................................................20755 CABLE TV SERVICE.......................................................21156 THE RUNNING COMMODE....................................................21757 MAY CROWNING...........................................................22156 KMART STORE CLOSING....................................................22559 THE GRAND HOTEL........................................................22960 SALARIES...............................................................235

Chapter One

Radio Station WLKI

I live in Angola, a small town with a population of about 9,000 in the northeastern tip of Indiana. Angola is famous for its large number of natural lakes. It is claimed that there are 101 lakes in the region surrounding Angola, located in Steuben County. Angola is also the home of Trine University, a small, private university specializing in undergraduate engineering education. Trine University engineers are highly respected and vigorously recruited by employers throughout the tristate areas of Indiana, Ohio, and Michigan. The town has one radio station, WLKI. For years, the most popular radio program was the morning show, broadcast from 5:00-9:00 am every weekday morning. The radio host was an extremely likeable, middle-aged guy named Andy St. John. Andy was from Fort Wayne, Indiana, just down Interstate 69 from Angola, and he had worked at WLKI for a number of years. Andy was very active in the local community, participating in and supporting events such as the Fourth of July parade and an annual bowling roll-off to benefit local charities. Andy's partner on the morning show was the WLKI newsman, a gentleman named Jim Measel. Andy and Jim got along well on the radio, often joking with and teasing one another. Jim liked to tease Andy about being bald. Andy would tease Jim about his golf game. They were a good pair, and everyone enjoyed listening to them in the mornings while having breakfast and getting ready for work and school. They called the program simply The Morning Show.

Sometime in 2008, the radio station was sold. The local businessman who had owned and operated the station decided to retire. The station was bought by a group of businessmen who owned a series of other radio stations in the tristate area. A new, young man took over as the manager of the station. Not long after that, we began to realize that the new ownership was intent on making some highly significant changes to the station's so-called format. Almost overnight, the music heard on the station changed. The station proudly proclaimed with numerous on-air announcements that the listeners would not be hearing "the same old music anymore." The ads stated that listeners would "be the first to hear new releases here." Another change that was implemented was a major revision for our dearly beloved Morning Show with Andy and Jim.

With no previous warning at all, Andy was suddenly replaced by a much younger morning host. He mentioned one morning that he was in his late thirties. The station's Web site indicated that he was from Virginia. Rather than the good mix of music that Andy used to play, listeners were now subjected to more of the popular hip-hop and modern rock. The program was even given a new name: henceforth it would be called The Breakfast Club. Although Jim was retained for this "new and improved" morning show format, all he...